I have hesitated to include this man among family members but as I guess his blood flows in my veins I should do so. I never met this man and I'm not sure I would have wanted to had I found out who he was prior to his death in 1987 at the age of 77.
To begin with he denied he had anything to do with my conception and yet I really believe my birth mother told the truth in her statutory declaration, the maintenance order and finally the adoption papers wherein she mentioned his name without hesitation. I doubt she snatched his name out of fresh air.
Prior to my birth he married another woman (their marriage was in October, 1931 and I was born in January, 19320 and they had a child later in my birth year. I feel his mother had something to do with that marriage, perhaps because she didn't fancy my mother as a daughter-in-law. My grandmother did some strange things in her life but I won't go into that right now...perhaps later if I feel like airing more family skeletons.
Their marriage didn't last many years and ended when his wife came home one day to find another woman in their home who refused to leave. Their divorce became absolute on 11 May, 1937 and he married his second wife on 25th May of that year. There was even an article in the Western Australian newspaper telling of the incident described above.
He went on to have two more children both of whom I have met and I get on with both very well, especially my half-sister. I don't see her very often but we keep in contact through Facebook which is good for both of us as she lives quite some distance from our home.
Various things I have heard from different people have always had me somewhat concerned about the behaviour of this man...I don't call him my father and why should I? If I need to speak of him I just call him "Wally". He had no interest in me at all and deserted my birth mother to deal with her pregnancy on her own.
I have to defer to the fact that he apparently was my father and now I have done that I will let the matter rest.
P.S. When my half-brother telephoned an old family friend after learning of my existence the old family friend laughed and said "I'm not at all surprised at the news. Probably lots more around somewhere". I felt that spoke volumes from someone who had known Wally for many years.
P.P.S. I feel badly that I didn't mention that Wally was a soldier and was involved in some really bad fighting during WW2 when he became a prisoner of war of the Germans. He wrote a diary while he was a POW which I typed out (from the original that my half-sister has.....she couldnt' read most of it) and we submitted it to a website that tells stories of POW of many nationalities. The website is
www.pegasusarchive.org/pow/frames.htm and there are some very interesting stories there. Wally was in Stalag VIIA and Oflag 79. He was a Lieutenant so I think was treated reasonaby well.
"His blood flows in my veins" is an odd statement. It's heard and written everywhere, yet babies commonly take their blood group from their mother.
ReplyDeleteMy siblings and me all have the same blood group as Mum, AB+, while my dad was an O.
Now I'm wondering how many women back then were left wondering "Where's Wally".
As I don't know the blood type of either of my real parents I have no way of knowing whether my Type A follows one or the other. I perhaps was thinking more along the lines that I had inherited some of his genes.
DeleteYour comment about "Where's Wally?" is a very good one. He was not quite 22 when he married for the first time so was quite young when sowing his wild oats.
Ancestry has a DNA service. You and your half sister could order a DNA kit through them and confirm your parentage if you wanted to.
ReplyDeleteFemales can only be tested to determine the origin of their maternal line. I would need to have my half-brother's DNA tested as well as mine to determine the paternal line. I think testing begins at around $160 so will have to just accept that I am who I have been told I am whether I want that to be the case or not. As Marilyn and I have different mothers our testing would prove nothing at all unfortunately. A good thought though and thanks.
DeleteOr you could let him slide into oblivion while enjoying your half siblings. It does sound as if your birth mother was probably better off without him in the long run. Which wouldn't have made it easier for her at the time - but I hope she realised it later.
ReplyDeleteEC I think your thinking is spot on. As I said I don't call him my father but just Wally if speaking of him at all. I too think EM was better off without him and when she was 35 she married a man who she adored for many years until his death and even beyond that point as well. My only regret is that she had no more children as her sisters-in-law have told me she loved children.
ReplyDelete