Saturday, October 30, 2010


So go the words of the song which continues:

"Hold on tight to those you love 'cos you don't know how long you're going to have them for.
Hold on tight to those you love 'cos they're the only thing worth living for."

This is so true but one wonders at times if one is trying to hold on too tight. There are of course other things in life that are important but those you love do and surely must come first before anything else.

Unfortunately I am not sure those you love always want to be held on to but prefer their freedom. My son chose that path and it is now nearly 9 years since he spoke to me or bothered with any of us. He must be serious because I have been in hospital 4 times during those nearly 9 years and never had a visit or any contact from him or his family at all. I have been fortunate that other family members have visited as well as some dear friends so I never felt neglected at those times.

There is a lot more going on in my mind right now but perhaps it would be diplomatic to leave it unsaid (unwritten) so maybe I am not having an opportunity to put into words what I feel. Never mind....I am only one person.

Others use blogging to express how they feel about all types of things and I wish I could but perhaps least said soonest mended so best to leave it at that.


I am feeling very heavy hearted and at the same time so helpless.

My daughter is sad as is at least one granddaughter and possibly one or two more of my granddaughters as well.

Events overtake people, events they have little control over but nevertheless these events bring a lasting sadness with them.

We cannot get into other people's mind to see exactly what is going on in there and no matter how many words we may utter we are never sure that what we say is what they want to hear. Sometimes one just keeps quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I know I am a good listener and am always willing to listen, without comment if need be, but perhaps I am now just little to old for people to bother talking to me. Perhaps nobody would think I would understand any more.

All I know is I am here should anyone need me and meanwhile I sit here feeling hopeless and unable to much as I would like to do so.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


I have always loved words and the English language and believed one should be competent at spelling and grammar throughout one's life.

What appalls me these days is not only the way people speak but also the way they spell. I really think a lot of it is caused by the habit people have, particularly the younger ones, of constantly sending text messages to one another on their mobile telephones. Apparently it is important to keep these messages short if possible...I am not sure if this because of the cost factor or sheer laziness but it is quite common to see 'words' such as "wanna" "yr" "yep" and so on. It is quite extraordinary and at times quite difficult to decipher exactly what is being said/written.

We oldies were taught how to write, spell and speak and I imagine this has stayed with us throughout our lives but, only the other day, I found myself answering in the affirmative to a question and saying "yep". Shock...horror!!! Did I really say that? Yes, I did and now realise how easy it is to become word lazy.

I imagine if I came back to earth in say 30-40 years time I may have difficulty in understanding what people in the English speaking countries were saying or even writing. As it is unlikely that will happen I will just have to try and gently adjust to modern jargon but try to avoid using it myself if I can.

Talking of mobile telephones...the other day MOH asked a younger woman, aged he thinks between 30 and 40, just what it is that people seem to constantly be ringing each other about. Her answer was quite simple and straight forward, "Oh" she said "they will make calls just to let a friend know they have been to the bank or some such unimportant event" which really doesn't seem to us to warrant making a call about". Is it just that they have to continually use those 'phones because they have them? One also wonders when will they get the message that using mobiles when driving a car is not only dangerous but also illegal unless they are hands free and even then I feel they are a great distraction to the driver.

When I was young we still managed to keep in touch with family and friends quite easily without all these 'mod cons' such as mobiles and computers. Oh well, once again I must admit I do not belong in this modern age...I use a computer for fun although I find these days that even they have taken the place of a good old fashioned telephone conversation. I often long for the sound of a friendly voice but it seldom happens any more. More's the pity.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Last week I said how sorry I was that the 28s and galahs seemed to have abandoned the nest in the big gum tree near the post office but lo and behold when we parked there today the galahs were back again.

Father galah flew off somewhere and then I saw mother galah come out of the hollow in the tree and pop back in again so I am sure there is a little one in there.

I have no idea what happened to the 28s....did the galahs take over the nest or was the baby 28 old enough to leave with its parents? I hope the latter was the case.

It is so worrying when you hear how so many of our native species are under threat of extinction and wonderful to see at least some of them hanging on in this dog eat dog world they now have to exist in. I am sure living in the wild is never easy and we certainly haven't helped their cause by taking over such vast areas of their natural habitat.

I'm not sure anyone has even read any of the reports about these birds (does anyone really bother to read my ramblings I wonder) but I like to keep the story of the birds up to date and will continue to do so while they are still around.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Recently my oldest granddaughter lost her baby boy at just 16 weeks into her pregnancy. My heart goes out to her and her wonderful husband but also to the rest of our family who have lost a grandchild and a nephew before they got to meet him.

As for myself, I of course have lost a great-grandchild which loss I feel very deeply particularly as I am not sure there is the likelihood of any more great-grandchilren likely to arrive in the near future. My son's children may of course eventually have children but as he has alienated his family from the rest of us it on the cards that I may not see any great-grandchildren that may arrive.

My regrets at the loss of this child are strong but I am now wondering how I am likely to feel should my son's daughter and son have children, knowing I have great-grandchidren I may never see? It is not a prospect I look forward to.

There are so many wonderful things that happen during our lives and one must always be thankful for them but at times they can unfortunately be overshadowed by the sad and bad things that occur from time to time. It is easy to say "life must go on" and go on it must but one has at times to take a moment to reflect on what might have been.

Over 50 years ago I lost a baby only a short time into my pregnancy and hadn't even realised I was expecting a child. It came as a shock to me but I'd not had the anticipation and delight of pregnancy so remembering back perhaps there was not a lot of sadness associated with this loss. It was also not a good time to bring a child into the world (shortage of money etc)so perhaps there could have also been a small sigh of relief? That sounds hard I know but I am sure there are many cases where it is also true.

Having said all that I have often wondered if the baby I lost was a boy or a girl and what he/she would have grown up to be. Who would the child have looked like and how would he/she succeed in life....all those things often come into one's thoughts no matter how long ago the event took place.

Once again my thoughts are with my granddaughter and other members of the family and I hope the sadness will eventually abate and allow everyone to go forward once again.


I have two of those beetroot/pickle containers (the ones with the insert with which you lift to make it easier to access the beetroot etc) and some months ago I realised one of the inserts was missing.
Although he is not sure it was himself MOH has a habit of wrapping potato peelers etc in with the compost and out it goes. We are often fortunate in being able to find it before it actually goes into the compost heap but not always.
Getting back to the beetroot thingie....As yesterday was pretty warm (33C) I decided it would be good to have salad for a change and when I opened the tin of beetroot (have to admit I don't cook beetroot any more) and grabbed the first beetroot container of course it was the one without the insert. I mentioned this to MOH and he said "Oh I think I may have found it in the compost heap!"
This morning, after giving it a very good wash, he produced it and would you believe it, it is as good as new. I was amazed and realised just what a good product Tupperware really is. I have now washed the insert several times, scrubbed it with a toothbrush and know that it is really clean so now I have both containers back in service which really pleases me.
I don't buy Tupperware these days as I prefer the old style items they sold years ago and one downer is that I can't remove the lids of many of the modern containers. They are just too much for my arthritic fingers/hands to deal with but perhaps just as well as I doubt I could afford them.
Incidentally, that insert must have been in the compost for at least 4-5 months since we were last having salads on a regular basis which I think speaks wonders for their product.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


Oh yes it would!!! Even simple tasks are becoming difficult and I can't see any chance of improvement; quite the reverse in fact.

I decided I'd go through my linen cupboard to perhaps add to items my daughter gave me to donate to an animal shelter (i.e. old sheets, towels etc) and would you believe after only about 10 minutes I had to sit down as my back had siezed up and that was that. Nowadays the hurt works its way from my lower back right up to my neck and just aches.

On Thursday I decided to go into the back garden and do some jobs that needed doing. Out I went with my trusty secateurs and did actually manage to prune a small bush and some wayward jasmine. I then spotted some dead heads in the Bird of Paradise bush so decided they had to go too. I did manage to remove some of them but daren't lean in too far in case I overbalanced. It was then a noticed a long jasmine trailer that was in a place it had no right to be so thought I'd trim that. Bad decision as it meant traversing some uneven ground. It was then I began to think what would happen if I did fall. MOH was out doing some banking and I knew if I hit the ground I would never get up. I used to spend hours working in our garden but now....not nice that I actually feel terrified when out there, especially when on my own.

Many would say I would be better living in a retirement village or similar but neither MOH or myself feel we are ready for that type of life, well not yet anyway. We like our little old house and hope to be carted out feet first perhaps.

I very much want to stay alive but the frustrations that beset me every day make me wonder why? I love my computer and get much pleasure from being in contact with friends on Facebook. I would love to see more of my family but realise that I am of little use to them these days and perhaps more a nuisance than anything. Theirs are busy lives and I don't want to be in the way.

I have to stay around for my cat who I know would miss me terribly and of course to help MOH get through his day as he takes tablets, has to inject insulin before each meal and have eye drops for his glaucoma each night. I must be here for him as he has told me he would be lost without me. I really believe that to be true in many ways. He is an exceedingly intelligent man but would he look after himself on his own? Not sure about that so here I have to try and stay.

This may sound rather pathetic but I can't help the way I feel at times. As I've said before there are millions of poor souls on this planet far worse off than I am but that doesn't make it any easier for me to accept my own problems.

It is rather fortunate that very few people bother checking my blog or this would bore them to tears but at least it has been good to put this into words and I apologise for whinging once again.


My daughter has unfortunately inherited genes from me that do her no good at all. I have had osteo arthritis since in my 20s and which now has become chronic and prevents me from doing a great deal while on my feet. 14 years ago I developed type 2 diabetes and now she has that as well. She must often wish I'd been born with different genes so she would perhaps not suffer from these disabilities and I apologise to her for it.

I think she has inherited my sense of humour and a reasonably nice nature which is good as she is certainly not like her father (and thank goodness for that) in any way.

I can only say I am so sorry my dearest girl that these horrible things have been passed down to you and can only hope that you can still enjoy your life as much as possible. I managed to do so until into my sixties and a little beyond that and you are taking steps to endeavour to stay mobile and I take my hat off to you for doing so. Even on a cold morning like this you were out there in the local outdoor swimming pool which I think is fantastic resolve on your part.


Seems the birds have moved on....parked in the same spot last Wednesday but no sign of either galahs or 28s so maybe both lots have moved on....I missed seeing them and hope they are doing OK.

Friday, October 8, 2010


My dear little Precious is 9 years old today and I am so glad she is still with us. Since Henry's death she has become quite a different cat and I now think she was sort of in his shadow as he was such a large dominant cat compared with her.

We have had many canine friends over the years but I feel that we are now too old to own one (at least one does own a dog whereas I sometimes think that a cat owns us). At least with a cat they don't smell, bark, need a regular bath or have to be taken for a walk. I can't do the latter and I sincerely think that however good my MOH's intentions would be, he just would not do justice to a dog and give it sufficient exercise.

Precious stays in all night and sleeps on one of the beds, usually on mine. She is no trouble and doesn't often want to go outside until it is well and truly light and, when she is let out, she if often back (through her cat door) within five minutes and once again curled up asleep on a bed.

She is now losing all her long winter coat and surprisingly enough it was thicker and longer this year and we had a very cold winter. Did she know something we didn't know perhaps? She was also slow in losing the long fur and it is only now with the weather rapidly warming up that she is shedding and leaving lumps of herself all over the carpet. MOH often says when he empties the vaccuum cleaner at this time of the year that he feels there is sufficient cat hair in there to cover another complete cat.

I wish my little bubby cat a very happy birthday (she shared my fish and chips with me at lunchtime) which was a treat for her and also for us as we seldom indulge in such things. Just felt that we needed to do something different today so we did. You have to sometimes!!