Saturday, February 27, 2010


In Perth we are enduring a very prolonged heatwave with temps up to 42C (107F) and it is going on and on. Summer officially ends tomorrow but the heat continues and, knowing what the month of March can be like in our city, one would expect little respite for some weeks to come.

I mentioned our ducted R/C aircon was waiting to be fixed and meanwhile we only have the old hole in the wall aircon in the living room. Don't get me wrong it works a treat but only cools down that one living area. There is a large fan in the kitchen but it is just too hot to be excited about cooking so it is cold food and salads. We both love those foods but I am waiting for a day when I can turn the griller or oven on and have something different to eat.

The bedroom has an overhead fan which works well but when the night temps are so high sleep is not as good as it should be. I noticed the last couple of nights that even my cat left the bed and slept on the floor although I notice she picks a spot that is nearly right underneath the ceiling fan.

Then it comes to jobs I am in the midst of doing which just get left in abeyance while it is so hot. Still lots of sorting going on as usual and it is those times when I seem to have more bits and pieces than usual spread out everywhere mainly cos I have piles of this and that to go here and there and I just give up and wait for the cooler weather.

I guess I live an almost aimless type of existence in heatwave conditions BUT when that aircon is fixed I promise myself I will once again get on top of everything and keep on sorting and sorting until, hopefully one day, everything will be in its place and there will be a place for everything. Am trying to remember for how many years I have been saying that!! One good thing though, no matter how big the muddle I always know where to find anything I want which is more than lots of people tidy people can say. Guess it proves that there can be order in chaos after all.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I am really beginning to wonder about the reliability of goods of all kinds that we buy these days compared with those 'back then'.

We had a solar hot water system made especially for our home back in about 1975 and it is still (touch wood) working really well. We did have a valve go on it about 10 years ago but since then few problems. Now I am told that a solar HWS may only last up to 10 years but why? It seems to be the same with so many things we buy these days, even really reliable brands.

25 years ago I bought a hole in the wall R/C airconditioner for our living room so by now it must be anything from 35+ years old. Turn it works. A little noisier than some modern wall splits but IT WORKS.

In October 2006 we had a ducted (5 outlet) R/C airconditioner installed and even in the first season it did not appear to work as well as one would expect. Found we had to ring Melbourne, Victoria (we are in Perth) and the chap asked if we had cleaned the filter. We had but said we would do it again. Ridiculous as you only need to do that a couple of times a year. He then said it would be 3 weeks before he could have anyone check it out. We checked the filter again and decided we couldn't bother ringing back. Silly of us but I lots of us get that way at times.....sort of put it in the 'too hard' basket.

Last year it really began acting a little strange and wouldn't cool the rooms down at all. In fact, if anything, the temperature would go up!!! Rang the installers who recommended a chap that specialises in this brand of airconditioner.

He arrived and within minutes found that gas had been leaking, mended the leak and pumped 1kg of gas in. Great and many thanks and an account of $160. Worked for about a week and then more problems and more heating isntead of cooling.

The technician came back, ran checks and found more LARGE part required. One was ordered from Victoria and we had to wait until our tech had a window in his tight schedule to instal new part. Last Saturday he arrived, installed new part but SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT. He had worked for 90 minutes only to find leaks in the new part. Could fix them but that would nullify the guarantee on the part!!! What to do? He rang Melbourne on Monday and ordered another new part and this time would they damned well please test it before shipping it over.

Now this will take at least a week by road to arrive but our great guy has promised he will give it priority as soon as the part arrives. The replacement plus installation etc is going to cost us over $1,000 and when on a pension that sort of money is a real problem but a kindly loan will overcome that problem, one we can pay back as we can.

Thank goodness for the old airconditioner in the wall. We are so thankful we didn't have it removed when the ducted one was installed.

We asked our tech why it worked so well compared with the new one (which by the way he says is a reliable brand) and he said when it was made it would have been tested in the workshop before shipping to make sure it was OK which it still is.

Although our current aircon is covered for 5 years for replacement of faulty parts and labour the firm has been placed in the hands of a receiver. We can still send our accounts to them and in time we could be lucky to receive about 30 cents in the dollar which will probably amount to about $300 if we are lucky.

To top all this off, we are heading for a really bad heatwave this week. Temperatures above 35 and up to 40 for at least the next week. Hot nights as well (thank goodness for the overhead fan in the bedroom but the airconditioner is really needed to cool the room before going to bed).

We are keeping our fingers crossed that next time all will be well and with March still ahead of us which is usually hot and humid we just may get the relief we have been longing for over past weeks.

I know this is longwinded but I just had to get it off my chest and I truly do feel that modern appliances, etc., quite often do not come up to our expectations and their reliability leaves a lot to be desired.


I think I have mentioned in a previous blog that each Wednesday moning I become part of a group of oldies who go to our physiotherapist to do exercises. There is often up to 10 of us and we are all aged over 78 and up to 85 with various types of medical or physical problems.

We do sitting down exercises, use weights and also do balance and stretching exercises. We usually have someone tell at last one joke each week and we have lots of fun and laugh a lot.

Last week Jenny, our physio, who would be about 50ish, said: "After knowing all of you for a few years I now realise that I have no fear of getting old. You all still seem to enjoy life so much."

Yes, there are many problems that come with advancing years but you can't just sit and complain about have to get on with life and if you can be an inspiration for someone 30+ years younger than you then you feel you have done a good job.

Friday, February 19, 2010


As anyone who has followed my blog would know I am now 78 and my husband is 80. In 2004 we had to make a big decision....whether to stay in this little old house of ours or try and find somewhere else to live. We are not retirement village type people in the true sense and why move to another house when we are happy in this one?

We took a big step and this was all part of a Five Year Plan (this was actually in mid 2004) and decided to stay here. 'Cos of my increasing problems with osteo arthritis we had to have our bathroom completely renovated and also needed a new smaller car.

How were we to do this? Had to take out a bank loan of course and unfortunately one of those where the interest compounds as we could not afford monthly repayments. The interest rates did go in our favour for a while although on the increase now.

Five and a half years later we have never regretted staying here...the bathroom is just wonderful and although the little Getz car is now over five and a half years old it has been well looked after and still runs like a new car and we find it ideal for our purpose.

Yesterday I brought up the fact that we should look another 5 years ahead. One never knows at any age how long one will survive but even at our advanced age you do have to look to the future, and hope you do have a future ahead of you.

This cottage (it is regarded as a cottage in today's housing terms) is about 50 years old but is still in pretty good nick. It is mainly the outside of the house that is a problem as I can do little outdoors any more and hubby, although willing, finds the heat rather a nuisance and just cannot do all that he once did. We have been fortunate in finding a wonderful young man who has been working tidying up our run-down garden and have had assistance in doing this for which we will be eternally grateful. We need to make our outside areas safer for me to walk and have a garden which is going to be almost care free apart from watering and occasional pruning. If we could only control those pesky weeds (if they were worth money they probably wouldn't grow at all).

Another big decision to be we endeavour to stay another 5 years in our home (we have been here since 1974) and perhaps hope we win Lotto (fat chance) when we could completely renovate or rebuild (dream on) or borrow some more money from the bank to have some essential work done? OR just put up with it the way it is and hope eventually we can do what needs doing bit by bit?

It is something perhaps we should talk to our family about but does it really concern them? They have their own interests and life to deal with. Of course, if we do take out a further loan from the bank, we lose even more equity in the house which would be a problem should we have to eventually move.

We both hope we can stay the distance in our home but...........and it is a big, big BUT.

I only wrote this particular post because I needed to put it all down in the hope that in doing so I would come up with a brilliant idea whilst doing so. Oh dear, no brilliance yet. More talk needed and some cooler weather too which would make it easier for both of us to think more clearly perhaps. When you get older the heat sort of stops you in your tracks both mentally and physically. Our aircon should be repaired tomorrow and that will help considerably with the hot week ahead.

You will have to forgive these meanderings as I know they are of little interest to others but I felt I had to get it off my chest.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


I sat quietly for some time yesterday remembering a friend of mine. Why? Because it was one year yesterday since she died, succumbing to a horrible cancer that took over her body and against which she seemed unable to fight.

This lady was a fighter but this was one battle she couldn't win. Perhaps she went about it the wrong way, as she often did with problems in her life, but, no matter what, she was lost to those that loved her.

My husband and I were so pleased to be part of a family get together at the hospital where she was on New Year's Day in 2009. Her 4 children (and two of their partners) and two other friends and their partners were all there. A lovely light meal was provided and we spent several hours going over Judy's lifetime which at times was very lighthearted and we had many good laughs talking about escapades she had got up to during her life. She certainly was quite a character.

I first met Judy in 1944 when I was 12 and was commencing at a new school. We were in the same class and at that time I certainly didn't like her one little bit. She was a bit of a devil and she and another Judy could cause quite a lot of disruption in the classroom. I, being a rather quiet child, found this wrong and so we definitely did not become friends at that time. Judy left that school at the end of 1944 as it had been suggsted to her parents that she may do better at another school. Enough said.

I am not quite sure how we eventually became friends but it may have been through our parents who I believe belonged to the same political party. All I know is we did become very good pals and when I was 18 I was bridesmaid at her wedding to her first husband.

They had a few problems themselves but when she was in her early 20s they reconciled and she went to live in Katanning, a country town in the wheatbelt about 180 miles south of Perth where I was still living.

I dearly wanted her to be matron of honour at my own wedding but she was heavily pregnant at the time and in those days one would not have been part of a bridal party in that 'condition'. I doubt anyone would find it a problem now.

She and her family would quite frequently come to stay with us and we with them and we always had a great time and our children all got on well together.

Her marriage ended and she moved back to Perth with her youngsters and once again we saw quite a lot of each other. My own marriage ended several years later but my friendship with Judy continued on and on.

Eventually she went to live in the country once again only this time only about 70 km from where we lived and, although we didn't see each other so frequently there were quite often lengthy telephone calls between the two of us and we would meet for lunch at different places.

She did remarry, a man many years older than herself, and I think they were happy for the few years they were together.

Judy could be a quite difficult person and had some strange ways and ideas (don't we all at times?) but I think she was so special to me because we understood each other very well and we had so many laughs together, often at each other's expense but with no hard feelings about it.

We would go to each other's homes and laugh at how we both were the sort of people that were constantly sorting through things in an effort to unclutter our lives, something we never really seemed to be able to do. This was always a source of great amusement to us both. I would sometimes ring her and ask what she was up to and she would reply "Oh, just sorting out some stuff I want to get rid of".

I think she was worse even than me 'cos she would take things to the op shop and often come home with more 'stuff'. I was wiser and would get my husband to take a car boot full of bits and pieces to the op shop in the knowledge that he would not bring anything back with him.

Judy and I may not have always seen eye to eye but I have never been sorry that she was part of my life for so many years (65 of them to be exact) and I do miss her so very much. I do remember all the good times we had. Sleep on Judy...all the pain has gone and you are hopefully at peace.


112 years ago today, in 1898, Grace Elizabeth Harring was born. I have wonderful memories of her....she was my first mother-in-law. I actually knew her parents before I met her as our family were adjacent neighbours to them although she lived in the same street. We were at 524, her parents at 526 and she at 556.

I first met Grace in 1952 when I began dating her son. I didn't see her all that often as young people in those days didn't have their own cars and, by then, my family had moved further away so my boyfriend would ride his bike over nearly every night or weekend. When we went out we normally went by bus although on special occasions we did borrow his step-dad's car.

This dear lady had been widowed in 1940 when only 42 leaving her with an 18y.o. daughter and an 8y.o.son. Fortunately her daughter was working in an office but the son still had to be educated and the usual provisions were needed for a normal family life.

Grace had been trained as a dressmaker/tailoress so she took up that trade and worked from home to keep the 'wolf from the door'. She eventually met and married a fantastic man in 1946. He adored her and she him and my children (who had not known their true grandfather) loved him very much too, as did we all. He unfortunately died in 1970 leaving Grace once again on her own but this time well provided for. I think when Jim died part of her died as well.

Speaking of her prowess as a seamstress, she made my wedding gown and going away outfit when I married her son in 1953. My wedding outfit consisted of a strapless dress with a long-sleeved lace jacket. She made me laugh when she wanted to make the dress almost skin tight in case it fell down. I had quite a reasonable bust so there was no way that this could happen but, not having made strapless gowns before, I had trouble persuading her that all would be well. These clothes she made were beautiful and she even covered the tiny buttons that went all the way down the front of the lace jacket and also made a hat to be worn with the suit she had made me. While all this was going on she and I got to know each other extremely well.

13 years later her son and I separated and eventually divorced and one of the saddest things about that event was the fact that I didn't see many members of his family after that. Not having had grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins in Australia it had been great for me to become part of a larger family and I admit I did miss them.

In later years I did get to see Grace again for which I was very thankful and we still got on as well as we had previously. I was very sad when she became too ill to live in her home and had to move into a nursing home. We saw much less of her then.

I often think back and realise how glad I am that she was once part of my life. An ordinary Australian lady but she was gentle and kind in her own way and I don't think I could have asked for a better mother-in-law.

Grace passed away in 1986 at the grand age of 88. Memories of her are still very vivid in my mind.

FOOTNOTE: My second mother-in-law lived in England so we never met but she and I used to correspond regularly and we too I think would have got on well had we been able to get to know each other better.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Today our youngest great-granddaughter (I think of her as our little rosebud) had a party to celebrate her second birthday (her birthday was actually yesterday). Of course her mum and dad were there (in their really lovely new home) two aunts and a cousin, her grandparents and us (her g.g/parents).

Some time was spent with the birthday girl opening lots of presents ("the clothes I can look at later....lots of more exciting things than clothes" she seemed to say) and then we all sat down at a beautifully decorated long table and had fairy bread, crisps, little red sausages (I remember them from birthday parties years ago), chocolate crackles, some lovely iced cookies and cupcakes which were actually the birthday cake with one tiny cupcake with two candles, and those candles had to be blown out twice so photos could be taken. Then we of course had to sing Happy Birthday twice as well. It was all so well organised and enjoyable.

After all that there were more presents to open and although we were there for over two and half hours the guest of honour behaved extremely well all the time. She is such a credit to her parents and although she is surrounded by love all the time and given lovely gifts none of it seems to have spoilt her at all.

We all had a wonderful afternoon and it was so great to be included in this celebration as we seem to have missed out on quite a few family birthdays over the past year or so. We are so pleased that we were asked to attend this one and it is a day I shall remember for a long time to come.

I sometimes sort of hold my breath while watching this little child....she sort of seems so perfect in every way and is a wonder to behold. She has so much understanding for someone so young...they often say of children "that one has been here before" and I think that seems to be the case here. I hope I shall live long enough to at least see her grow up for a while yet.

Footnote: Whenever my grandchildren would have birthdays over the years their sisters/brothers also were given little gifts by me (to sort of spread the happiness aruond) and today I remembered I used to do that so gave our oldest g/granddaughter $5 to spend on herself. Thought it would be nice to carry the tradition on while I can. Next year I must try and remember to buy each of them a small gift on the other's birthday.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Here we are nearly half way through February and so far no real mishaps so fingers crossed. Last year was quite eventful in many ways.

Firstly, I had my second hip replacement op (very successful it was too) in January and secondly hubby began using insulin to help his diabetes mid-way through the year....2 quite large events in the life of this ancient couple. It was also discovered he had an adenoma on one of his adrenal glands which in turn had been doing all sorts of strange things to his blood pressure. potassium level etc. New medication and lots less of other medications has turned all that around and all is going really well.

In December of course my other half turned 80 and he celebrated his birthday on 3 different occasions with family and friends which was great for all of us.

On the down side there were the deaths of various people known to us, some of whom were family (my closest friend, my niece's husband and a dear elderly uncle of mine). The others were relations of friends and every death holds so much sadness for those affected. There is little one can say or do to ease the pain but just being there is at least something and to let them know you care is so important.

I am still going to my exercise group held by our physiotherapist and we have so much fun, as well as exercises. We are all approaching or are over 80 with many health problems but we get on so well together and have lots of laughs. When one of the group doesn't turn up we all worry that all is well with them and are relieved when we see them again, hopefully the following week.

Hubby is enjoying his golf so much more as all the family on both sides clubbed together to buy him an electric golf buggy (no, not the big ones you sit in but one to replace that which he once had to pull along behind him). He feels less exhausted after a game and we are hoping it will keep him on the golf course for many years to come. I had once intended that we both play when he retired but unfortunately my arthritis has prevented that happening. So much for long term plans.

This month my eldest granddaughter and family moved into a home they are buying so it seems they will now be settled down for at least several years which is great and their little girl (our beautiful second great-granddaughter) will turn two tomorrow and we hope we will get to see them all soon.

So let the rest of 2010 unfold and hopefully bring with it good health, safety and happiness for everyone.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


No matter what disasters may overtake you try to never give up as there is always hope that things will improve. The story of the donkey in the well comes to mind.

One day an old donkey fell into a disused well. The farmer knew it would cost a lot of money to hire equipment to get the donkey out so he decided that as the donkey was very old the best thing would be just to fill the well with sand. He contacted several of his neighbours and asked if they could help him fill in this disused well as it could be dangeros. They gathered together with their shovels and began to fill the well with sand. After a while, to see how things were going, the farmer looked into the well and, his absolute amazement, there was the donkey standing on top of all the sand that had been shovelled into the well. He watched and found that as the sand landed on the donkey it shook it off and kept climbing on the pile of sand. After some time the donkey was at the top of the well and ambled off into a nearby field. Needless to say the neighbours were not at all happy when they realised what the farmer had intended to happen to the poor donkey.

The thing I am trying to get at is this: As things pile in on you just keep climbing until you get on top of them and you too can amble off and enjoy your life again.

There is an end to the story of the donkey......a few days later the farmer was in the field and the donkey bit him. The farmer developed blood poisoning and eventually died from it. There is a moral to be found there as well. Think about it. People often do get their just desserts.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I have friends who value material goods and I now realise that I do not. There are certain items that mean a lot to me 'cos of who they once belonged to or who gave them to me but 'things' themselves are not important. I live a very simple life and am constantly trying to rid myself of surplus articles. I have recently passed on items to my daughter and granddaughters, things which were important to me and that I kept for many years but I felt the time had come for them to find new homes with younger folk.

I do keep some things for sentimental reasons like a brooch and a pack of cards my first boyfriend gave me approximately 62 years ago (poor chap died a year or two back) and also a brooch my adopted half-brother gave me probably 60 years ago (he also has passed on). There is a beautiful silver serviette ring complete with a cupid (or some such fanciful person) on it that my first mother-in-law gave me in about 1954. These things are tiny and don't take up much room and are not of great value but it's just nice to have them although we don't actually need to possess items to help us remember those that were near and dear to us as the memories of them are always there which keeps them very much alive.

I have a pair of china Siamese cats that I purchased for $1 each at Woolworths general store in Cottesloe back in about 1968 and they are always on my mantelpiece. Not worth anything but just very special to me...bought in a very happy time as I had married my second husband around that time and was also employed in a very good job. Nice things associated with good things and good times are great to have.

I also have my mother's MBE medal and the OBE that was her father's (sent to me from England after his death some years ago) and they are nice to have until they too may be passed on.

The time has come to just get 'stuff' out of the house so I don't have to constantly worry about it having to be dusted or cleaned. I will always keep those little things that are important but the rest can go and as soon as possible.

My adopted folks' home on their farm near Albany (Western Australia) was completely destroyed by fire some time before I was born in 1932 and subsequently I did not inherit any famiy heirlooms although I believe they did have some nice pieces. The only thing that did come through the fire unscathed was my dad's MBE medal (minus the ribbon and clasp of course) and that would have gone to my brother and I imagine one of his children or grandchildren would now have it. We have often wondered what those medals are made of as gold and silver melted completely in that fire.

Had this event not occured I perhaps would own some quite old things that would have sentimental attachments but as I do not then I will just keep the little things that are still important to me (I do have mum's wedding ring and other small items) and otherwise only anything that we need for day to day living.

I wonder if other people also feel they have no need of surplus items in their lives and if so, how do you go about trying to get rid of them? Your hints would be most helpful.

Saturday, February 6, 2010


It sounds as though my husband was not the only one living with his parents in North Perth but as though all the family lived there (smile). What I meant was that his grandparents lived just down the street from his folks and his 3 uncles and families also lived in houses in North Perth. Hope that clarifies that slip up I made.


I was cogitating the other day (don't you love words like cogitate?) about how little I see my friends and family these days and realised that, for some reason, it is not only that family members seem so much busier these days, but that the distance between our homes has increased considerably.

When I was young, yes my folks and I lived in various suburbs until they finally settled down for 5 years in a rental home in North Perth and then when I was 20 they built their own home in Joondanna (then called Joondanna Heights).

I married a man who lived with his folks in North Perth as did his grandparents and his aunts and uncles. He and I lived in North Perth as well. Not long after my marriage my own mother also moved into a house in North Perth so we were nearly all within walking distance of each other. It was simple to go for a walk and pop in to say hullo to someone without making it an 'official' visit, perhaps have a cuppa while there or perhaps not. We seldom telephoned each other because our homes were so close together and back then not everyone had a telephone. We certainly didn't have a phone till we had been married about 5 years or more.

Now I live in Hamilton Hill, my daughter and her husband live in Kelmscott as does #2 granddaughter and her daughter, my eldest granddaughter and her family have moved to Settler's Hills and #3 granddaughter and grandson share a unit in Carlisle (both of whom don't drive). My son and his family (whom I no longer have contact with) also live a good 20 minute drive from our home.

Not only are the distances between our homes greater, the traffic is also heavier which means it takes longer to travel those extra kilometres. Most of my close friends have sadly left this mortal coil and those that remain live in Mandurah or way up in Mindarie (all reasonably long trips from Hamilton Hill).

I suppose it is not as bad as families that are in different states, which in our country means many, many kilometres apart but it still does make a big difference altho'. come to think of it, there may be those that are glad the distance between us stops me 'popping in' as one once did. That's a question best not asked (smile).

We all of course have telephones these days (mobiles too of course) but one is reluctant to ring 'cos, as said before, everyone seems to busy these days and the good old chats one once had are a thing of the past. My mum and I would usually have a good long chat every Sunday morning when my hubby was playing golf and I did miss those chats when she died 25 years ago. My first husband's sister lives in Canberra and every few weeks we keep the telephone wires buzzing for up to 2 hours as we talk about all sorts of subjects ranging from family, TV, music right through to politics. I miss that type of chat when one could talk about any subject without fear of arguments developing and one was entitled to one's own opinion and we also respected the opinions of others. Verna is now 87 and I am 78 so I doubt these wonderful conversations will go on for many more years but we can only hope that there will be more opportunities still for us discuss how we would put the world to rights if we were in charge. It all sounds so simple when you talk about it doesn't it?

Probably one of the big differences is that back then not many women worked so were home during the day and more visiting took place also of an evening as well. Dinner would be ready for hubby when he arrived home from work so dishes were cleared away earlier than now and visits could be made or visitors entertained more easily too.

None of the above is meant to sound like a complaint but rather just comparing what once was with what now is. Fifty years has made a big difference and I would think that probably the next fifty years will make even bigger differences one way or another. I won't be here to see what those differences will be but one can't help but wonder.

Monday, February 1, 2010


37 years ago yesterday my beautiful first born granddaughter was born to my daughter and her husband. She was such a good baby and a delightful child and that child has grown into a fantastic woman who in turn has a daughter of her own (of course that makes 4 generations of we females...quite daunting to some!!!). There have been many changes during her 37 years but I feel she has dealt with them head-on and in most cases very wisely. I can only wish her many more years of special happiness and thank her for being who she is. I love you very much. xxxx


I hadn't realised that it has been 4 months since I last added anything to my blog. No reason really and although I have plenty of thoughts I am never sure about the propriety of sharing those thoughts with one and all. Perhaps a little bigheaded of me to think that others would even be interested anyway.

I did a few WHAT IF blogs in which I spoke of happenings in the past that possibly changed the direction in which my life went, which of course does happen to all of us.

There is one thing I do often find with What Ifs.....people do let these unavoidable events get them down in later life. I think this happened to my son who just over 8 years ago chose the path of having nothing further to do with his parents or sister. We know not why this happened and yet I fear after many years the fact that his father and I divorced may have him thinking his own What If? Not that his father was a really wonderful father but time lends enchantment and perhaps our son really does believe "What if they hadn't divorced? Would my life have been different?" This from a man who has made his way in the world very successfully much of which, if he was honest, was due to his step-father's encouragement. Still, all that is really another story.

I myself was adopted (as I think I have mentioned previously) and was fortunate to find two very loving new parents and I have never regretted any of that. I have never felt I needed counselling of any kind because of events in my life and part of a poem by Omar Khayyam comes to mind which makes me realise that YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ
Moves on; nor all thy Piety or Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line
Nor all thy tears wash out a Word of it.

We cannot change past events and to live with regrets sours our minds (and our souls if we indeed do actually have souls) and can make people quite bitter. Even today events happen that make me sad but I can do nothing about them or change the behaviour of others so I must learn to live day to day and try and be thankful for what I do have. (and keep in mind those wise words that Omar wrote so many years ago).