Monday, February 1, 2010


I hadn't realised that it has been 4 months since I last added anything to my blog. No reason really and although I have plenty of thoughts I am never sure about the propriety of sharing those thoughts with one and all. Perhaps a little bigheaded of me to think that others would even be interested anyway.

I did a few WHAT IF blogs in which I spoke of happenings in the past that possibly changed the direction in which my life went, which of course does happen to all of us.

There is one thing I do often find with What Ifs.....people do let these unavoidable events get them down in later life. I think this happened to my son who just over 8 years ago chose the path of having nothing further to do with his parents or sister. We know not why this happened and yet I fear after many years the fact that his father and I divorced may have him thinking his own What If? Not that his father was a really wonderful father but time lends enchantment and perhaps our son really does believe "What if they hadn't divorced? Would my life have been different?" This from a man who has made his way in the world very successfully much of which, if he was honest, was due to his step-father's encouragement. Still, all that is really another story.

I myself was adopted (as I think I have mentioned previously) and was fortunate to find two very loving new parents and I have never regretted any of that. I have never felt I needed counselling of any kind because of events in my life and part of a poem by Omar Khayyam comes to mind which makes me realise that YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ
Moves on; nor all thy Piety or Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line
Nor all thy tears wash out a Word of it.

We cannot change past events and to live with regrets sours our minds (and our souls if we indeed do actually have souls) and can make people quite bitter. Even today events happen that make me sad but I can do nothing about them or change the behaviour of others so I must learn to live day to day and try and be thankful for what I do have. (and keep in mind those wise words that Omar wrote so many years ago).


  1. Wonderful way of looking at life, Mimsie. There is much in my life which I regret, but I also realize that as a result of the bad stuff, frequently good stuff has come. My son died in 1999, for example, and while I'd give anything to have him back, as a result of his death I made one of the best friends in my life, a woman from Perth (ironically), whom I would never have met face to face otherwise, since we live >9,000 miles apart.

  2. Firstly, many thanks for your kind words re this post.
    I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child and my commiserations to you for such a sad loss.
    My adopted mum often would say "one door closes and another opens" and I there is so much truth in that adage.
    My best wishes to you and yours.