Both my grandsons have birthdays this month. The eldest of the two (L) was 30 on 20th December and we all went to his mum and dad's home for a quiet afternoon tea on the Sunday before his birthday to spend time with him and wish him well.
"L" is very tall and has fair hair and is quite good-looking too. He is a quiet person but has quite a sense of humour and is a very serious thinker. I noticed him and MOH having a very serious conversation recently which they both seemed to be enjoying. That pleased me.
I don't see "L" as often as I would like but single young men live quite a different life to we oldies and he is always busy with his work these days. Although he studied intensely at university he has actually found his niche in the hospitality industry and, after working in that industry for several years, is now managing an hotel in Nedlands and we hope he will do well. We also spent time with him at our granddaughter's home on Christmas Day so great to see him twice in the one month.
My younger grandson (J) will be 24 tomorrow and as I've not seen him for close to 11 years I am not even sure I would recognise him if I met him unexpectedly in the street as in the only photo I have of him he is about 17. They can change quite a lot in 7 years. This photo I believe was taken with one of his friends at the time of their school graduation celebration in ca 2005.
He is the son of my own son who on my 70th birthday took it upon himself to divorce himself from all our family (including his own father) so my daughter and her family have not seen or heard from him and nor have I or MOH.
I believe "J" did very well at university and has a good job. He no longer lives at home but shares accommodation with friends. I still send him birthday cards but have not heard one word from him so obviously he has been told not to make contact or maybe he just doesn't want to or can't be bothered. I cannot answer for what he does.
I am fortunate that my daughter-in-law, unbeknown to my son, keeps in touch with me via email about 2 to 3 times a year and through her I am kept somewhat up to date with what their family is doing. She has sent me photos via email as the children were growing up for which I am most grateful. It is still not the same as seeing them or even talking to them.
I know there are many disfunctional families out there but we are yet to understand why this situation developed in our own family. Hopefully before, or even after I am gone, the truth will come out and perhaps there will family togetherness again. One can only hope that this will finally eventuate.
In the meantime we celebrate "L's" birthday with him and content ourselves by sending "J" a birthday card wishing him all the best and hope it will have some meaning for him.