This may seem a strange thing for me to be blogging about but we have a just-turned- two great-granddaughter and her mum, on her blog, was writing about children sharing and also misbehaving when visiting and how to handle it.
One thing that many parents do came to mind that I have always found very disturbing. You have two small children together and one is obviously being nasty to the other or causing both of them to act stupidly. Why is it that the parent of the 'innocent' child often chastises that child 'cos they feel it is not their place to chastise a child that is not theirs?
Surely one is entitled to speak to the 'other' child and try and explain what they are doing is not a good thing and try and diffuse the situaton. Either separate them for a while until they calm down or introduce some other type of peaceful play for them. Take time off from what you are currently doing and play with them perhaps.
I saw one instance a few years ago where my nephew's little girl was being provoked by her cousin to the extent that they were both acting stupidly. He grabbed his little girl, smacked her and yelled at her to stop it. The instigator of the problem got away scott free and unfortunately her mother (my niece) said nothing at all. I felt so sorry for the one who got into so much trouble but then her dad is somewhat of a bully so guess it was to be expected. His son, now a young teenager, is developing the same attitude so not much hope when he eventually has children of his own. The child causing the problem has quite a high IQ and is over active so excuses are made for the way she behaves which to my mind is wrong but that is for her folks to decide and not me.
Adults must set an example by taking the blame if they are in the wrong so that children also learn that if they make a mistake or do something stupid they too must accept the blame for their actions.
To chastise the innocent child is only teaching the aggressive child that they can get away with almost anything in this life and the innocent child also suffers and begins to feel that no matter what they do they will always be in the wrong.
As with adults, some children are definitely more likeable than others which is unfortunate but very true, so perhaps the pretty, seemingly innocent, children get away with more than their opposites. It happens in the adult world all the time and therefore would I think often be the same with children.
My two children did not always get on all that well and being a mum is not an easy occupation, at much as one loves their children.
I have always tried to live by the concept that one should treat others the way I wish to be treated (do unto others) and that is one way of explaining to a child what they should do. "Would you like her/him to do that to you? "No? Then perhaps it is not nice to do it to her/him".
I guess these days child behavious is handled differently so these words from a great-grandmother may be meaningless but I needed to show how I feel about it.