2.30pm Tuesday, 6 April, 2009.
I am really beginning to wonder if I will ever do or say the right thing!!! Are people today becoming more sensitive; is it the pressure they are under in these uncertain times? I do and say things quite innocently at times and with no ill intent and seem to be always treading on someone's toes and, boy, are they quick to remonstrate with me about whatever it is. Surely I am entitled to my opinion without being made to feel that whatever I think is wrong. Can people no longer agree to disagree and get on with their lives with no hard feelings?
I was chatting to a dear friend yesterday (yes, she too is in her seventies) and she said she was feeling exactly the same way. We agreed one can say something quite innocently and before long you seem to be landed right in it. Is it because we are now too old to be considered as having any brains and what we say is utter rubbish and we need to be taken to task about it?? She and I are certainly bewildered by people's reactions. Is it because we are elderly that we are now to be treated like naughty children who should be seen and not heard??
In my life I always thought I had tried not to deliberately say or do anything that would be too hurtful to others although I realise that some things I have done have certainly not always been to other's liking. That is unfortunately true, but sometimes, for one's own survival, it is necessary to take certain steps that are going to impinge on other's lives.
This apparently was the case with me having left my first husband when my children were still in primary school. Many years later my son, who had always been particularly close to his step-father, suddenly decided to stop having contact with all members of his family apart from his wife and his two children. That was over seven years ago and although the hurt has lessened I am still awaiting an explanation of why this occurred. Did my son have a sudden brain storm and blame everyone for 'something'. He has a lovely family, a terrific home and a good job so I can see nothing that we had done years ago that could have caused this sudden break.
This is what I mean about things that one does that obviously have an affect on other's lives, even if years later, but are unavoidable at the time they happen. If I could speak to my son today I would apologise if it had upset him but it would still have happened. I have written to him but have never had any response at all.
I am very grateful that I have this blog where I can air my feelings but I think that is enough for now about that particular subject. What I have said above will probably come back and bite me on the backside but I had to get it out of my system and, so there!!! I have done it.
I mentioned in a previous post that I had the doctor write me a script for Panadol Osteo which I had doubts about but thought I'd give it a go. She said to take 2 tablets night and morning but I, in my infinite wisdom, decided that as you are allowed to take 6 tablets daily then why not go the whole hog? I have now been taking them approximately every 8 hours for about 5 days and I think they are actually taking the edge off my pain. It has not gone, nor will it ever go completely unless I take strong painkillers which turn me into a zombie, but I will persevere with the Panadol Osteo and hope for the best. Even a slight lessening is better than none at all. Not sure one should take them ad infinitum but if I stick to the prescribed dosage hopefully all will be well.