I remember years ago mum saying to me that she felt that although war widows and their families were very well looked after, civilian widows were not and here it explains just what was done to ease the burden they and their families often suffered.
Except from 'THE CLOCK OF TIME' by Gertrude Ruston. (pp 179-180)
"Two sub-committees were formed by the Council of Social Services, namely the Family Welfare Committee and the Child and Youth Committee, and both of which I was an ex-officio member.
I was elected to be Chairman of the Family Welfare Committee and we were very active dealing with any subject at all concerned with the welfare of the family. Many subjects were brought forward to this committee arose from our work in the Citizens Advice Bureau, and it was the members of this committee who supported me in my endeavours to form the Perth Emergency Housekeeper Service.
Although were was an Association of Civilian Widows we found that, the CAB being within a few doors of the Department of Social Services (now Centrelink) in Murray Street, many women who had been widowed, and were simply handed forms by this government department, came to the C.A.B., sometimes in tears, because they needed help to complete the forms and had no idea how to handle their problems. In many cases they had little or no money, their husbands had handled everything and sudden death had left them entirely bereft.
Our committee decided to prepare a Guide to Widows, going through the procedures of everything from the moment of death. The questions of wills, next of kin, funerals, insurances and compensation were all dealt with and exhaustive enquiries were made to ensure that the information given was accurate. The book was obtainable from headquarters, and in great demand. At abut the same time we heard that the Rotary Club had also become aware of the disabilities suffered by women whose husbands had kept them apart from the business side of the family and were starting a campaign called "Teaching your Wife to be a Widow".
We also took action regarding the Door to Door Sales act, and were delighted when the seven day cooling off period became law.
Wine saloons also came into our line of fire. There was a saloon near our CAB office and, at night, there were also numerous intoxicated people nearby, including aborigines.
Noise abatement was also a matter of concern, as it is now. Hotel gardens with their bands and entertainments make lief difficult for people living nearby, particularly for students trying to study, sick people and families with young children.
When I retired from the position of Chairman of this committee, my place was taken by Mrs Dulcie Hodgson."
I'm admiring your mum more and more with each read.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly was a shame back then that women didn't know how to manage such things as finances, even budgeting for bills was left to the husband and all the wife had was what her husband gave her. Social Services then weren't much help with their never-ending forms to be filled out and no help to do so.
Things are better now, but there are still too many women who rely on their husbands to take care of things. I myself was never taught anything about money, being raised to believe the husband took care of his wife. When I married, hubby gave me a small allowance to run the house on and it came as a rude shock many years later to discover how much he had been earning and gambling away while I kept the house going, with two small babies, on $70 a fortnight. Things were cheaper then, so I manged, but learned later from other Army wives just how much I had been missing out on.
I tried to make sure my kids knew more about money and managing it, than I had.
Mum was a woman most people admired for one reason or another.
DeleteIt is even in recent times that many women had no dealings with the 'business' side of running a home. When my brother learned in 1987 he was dying of lung cancer he sat his wife down and explained everything she needed to know to deal with finance etc after he was gone. He was that type of organised person. I knew of another couple (close to us) and he would not accept he was dying, but die he did, and his wife didn't even know how to use an ATM or anything to with finance. That WAS in more recent times.
My first husband would hand me his pay packet when he arrived home each week and I managed the finances as best I could with him constantly dipping into money put away to pay bills. Even recently he reminded me he used to give me his pay packet each week but had forgotten how he took quite a lot of it back. Incidentally, he still owes me about $800 child support from way back in the 1960s. I brought it to his attention earlier this year when we spoke on the phone and he just treated it as a joke.
All marriages are different in the way they arrange their finances I guess but both parties should be familiar with exactly how to balance the budget.
Sadly true. In an earlier incarnation I worked with the Department of Social Security (now as you say Centrelink). It was amazing, and appalling how many women were kept completely in the dark about financial matters. And had to learn very quickly indeed.
ReplyDeleteSo you have seen it first hand how some poor women are kept in the dark. I suppose it makes some men feel superior if the 'little wifey' just gets a handout each week for housekeeping. I would think that with both parties quite often being forced to work these days things have changed somewhat.
DeleteI'm wondering if it isn't often simply a case of men not knowing just exactly how much it costs to keep a household running properly. Certainly my first hubby had no idea.
DeleteOr perhaps they just don't want to know and certainly don't intend to find out in a hurry.
Delete"Teaching Your Wife To Be A Widow" I love it....I'll bet that shook up a few men lol.
ReplyDeleteI think the title is wonderful an I am sure it brought a lot of men down to earth and made them realise they had been treating their wives like idiots. It obviously would have done a lot of good.
DeleteI have two friends who are widows and they had to learn very quickly after their husbands passed on.
ReplyDeleteAs a person who has always handled home finances (even at times with difficulty) I can't imagine what it would be like not to be a partner in a marriage with all things being equal. Phil and I both have our own accounts but work together when it comes to finance and both feel happy about it.
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteAs River has told us and EC has confirmed, it has also be my experience in counselling that this phenomenon still exists; husbands seeking to maintain control and women so disempowered they see no error in this till too late. Here's the clincher; the lady I am recalling? Her hubby was a Rotarian...
Practicing as preached is another eternally required lesson... YAM xx
I love the comment about the lady's husband being a Rotarian. He obviously had no knowledge of the pamphlet mentioned above.
DeletePerhaps these women who don't have control are more the type that quite often suffer abuse and turn around and say "but he didn't really mean it. I know he loves me!"
I guess we are all different in the way we accept our roles in life. xxx