Thursday, July 18, 2013

LOOKING BACK 6O YEARS

It was inevitable that my thoughts would recall the event that took place 60 years ago today.  It was at 5pm on 18th July, 1953 that, on my father's arm, I walked down the aisle of St George's Cathedral in Perth to be married to my first husband.  (I had also been christened and confirmed in that place).



It had been a 12 months engagement during which time I had had doubts; doubts I put behind me as I felt I had made a commitment and one I should be true to.  It turned out that I was wrong in going ahead with the marriage but I'd been rather overwhelmed during our engagement with my fiance seeing me nearly every evening/day which gave me little hope of finding out what it would be like to not see him for a while.  Hope that makes sense.  I think now I should have insisted on some breathing space but I didn't.   We all make errors of judgement and also learn by our mistakes.

I must admit it was a lovely wedding.  My mother-in-law had made me a beautiful wedding dress and going away outfit, the style of wedding dress not unlike the one chosen by Kate when she wed William.  My daughter actually showed pictures of the two dresses on her blog at the time of the Royal Wedding as she was amazed at the similarity in style.  Mine didn't have a long train nor did it cost very much money but it was gorgeous!!  I was very fortunate in my choice of in-laws!!

We had a very nice sit down reception with family and friends and spent a pleasant few days honeymoon at the Yanchep Inn.   We had very little money and had to live in rented rooms in several places before finally ranting an old two-storey house from his grandfather.   All went quite well for several years and although the marriage didn't last past 13 years (I feel perhaps it wasn't meant to last) from it I had two children one of whom is still the light of my life, the other whom, unfortunately,  has more or less divorced me and the rest of the family as well.

On the day of our divorce we went and had a coffee and he made the comment that we weren't really that compatible were we?  Something had definitely changed during those 13 years of marriage.  I still thought I was the same person but I guess there had been changes on both sides which had driven us apart.  I am still on friendly terms with him, although he fortunately lives outside the metropolitan area so our paths seldom cross.  He even sometimes remembers to telephone me on my birthday which I guess is rather nice.   He is now in his third marriage and I am in my second and for me second time around has worked out very well.

14 comments:

  1. I am glad second time round has worked for you. I didn't know your daughter had a blog, can I ask what it's called? Would love to see a wedding photo of yours. Did you have the same style of wedding the second time? I am a lover of stories. So many questions, sorry. xxx Rae

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    1. My daughter's blog is menopausal mumma. She was a constant blogger but of late not so much. The post re the wedding dresses would have been at the time of Kate and William's wedding so a while back now. No, second time I was 35 and wore a pale blue suit. I don't mind questions at all Rae as long as I can answer them. The C/E wouldn't marry us but we found a minister who would so were married in the Congregational Church in St George's Terrace. Now Phil sings the song "At Trinity Church I met my doom". No, not really. lol

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  2. Oh Mimsie the second time worked so that is wonderful. I can imagine just how beautiful that wedding with the the homemade dress would be. You I imagine were very beautiful just like a princess. HUG B

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    1. I am very fortunate it has worked as well as it has. Actually he has just brought me out a lovely hot cup of tea. He is my carer as well as my friend now which would never have happened with the first one. I'm not sure I was all that beautiful but the dress certainly was. Thanks Buttons. xx

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  3. The first marriage taught you a great deal no doubt that you could apply to the second. I wonder how many of us walk down the aisle thinking "I wonder if there is still time to change my mind?"

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    1. Did I learn from my first marriage? Perhaps I did but things were very different the second time. First was an Australian bloke; second an Englishman. Brought up by English parents...could that have made a difference? Who knows? Not sure I had doubts walking down the aisle....had made a commitment and that was that. In hindsight does the truth even then come out entirely?

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  4. A bitter-sweet memory. The "if only" of life can haunt us, or make us stronger.

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    1. There were good times the first time around and one tends to mainly remember them. The good times became less and less until there were none left. I have never felt bitter but just glad it ended and I was able to meet and marry the man I've now been with for nearly 46 years. He is so good to me and understands me and I him which is so important in a partnership.

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  5. As you know, your daughter is very dear to me too and it was through her that we met. For which I am very grateful. I love that your second marriage has been so positive - for you all.

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  6. Thanks EC. Yes K is a very special person for us both and I've always felt chuffed that through her you and I became friends. MOH is a good man with the usual faults that we all at times show but that makes him even more special 'cos he never tries to make out he is perfect. (Unfortunately #1 had that habit and still has according to K).
    I hope everything is settling down for you and the SP and that s-in-law is not being a pain, or no more than usual. Hope you've managed to keep those cold/flu germs at bay too.

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  7. Such a pretty little cathedral! It's sad when marriages don't work out, but usually parting is for the best. At least it was a "friendly" divorce. Mine was too, we're still friends when we bump into each other, but don't keep in touch much.
    I loved Kate's dress and I'm tickled pink to think the design was yours first.

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  8. I guess it wasn't all that friendly to begin with but we mellow with time and he has to some extent. I don't go out of my way to speak to him but am always civil if he should telephone. I felt for the sake of our two kids we should still 'get on' well. If you check my daughter's blog back when the royal wedding too place you would see the two dresses. It is menopausal mumma if you want to take a peek. You may already be blogging friends.

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  9. I used to read her blog a lot, but haven't been there for quite some time. i have time on my hands right now, so instead of sweeping my floor, I'll hop on over.

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  10. OK. Hope you find it. She's not blogged for some time now. Lost the blogging mojo for now I think. Been lots going on in her life but she'll get there eventually.

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