That little sudden sitdown on the steps of the hotel last Thursday has set me thinking. It has suddenly hit me that I am not the independent person I thought I was. OK I can't do much housework any more and my gardening days are all but over but....
I have always been confident I could get around either using my walking stick (my stabiliser) when necessary out of doors and my walking frame when shopping so I can sit down when needed. Now comes the realisation that I really do need MOH to be there beside me when attempting more than just walking i.e. walking DOWN stairs in particular.
I mentioned he had gone to the car to not only make sure the back window was clear (the wiper isn't touching the glass properly which he will have fixed when he takes it for a service on Tuesday) but also to make sure the car door was open for me to get in.
To me he didn't appear to be coming back so I decided I'd make it OK on my own just relying on my trusty walking stick as there was no railing. Going up steps is great as no stress on my knee but obviously going down steps is a different story and so it collapsed on me.
It has been suggested that I perhaps have a collapsible wheelchair for when I go out but that wouldn't have helped on Thursday as no level entry point into that hotel that I know of. Not only that I don't want to get to that stage that I can't go out with using a wheelchair.
I am still quite sore in the area that took the brunt of me sitting down so unexpectedly but the thing that worries me the most is that my knee is not at all happy. I may be able to see my lovely physio on Wednesday if it works out that way (my daughter is trying to change her own appointment and I may be lucky to take the one she will cancel) and hopefully my physio can do something to help. Perhaps though I am beyond help? I'm sure I am now too old for major surgery such as a knee replacement so that leaves me up the proverbial creek!!
It's just the thought of becoming too dependent on MOH which puts such a burden on him, wonderful as he is in his caring of me. Hopefully all will be well and I am feeling just a wee bit downhearted at present. I am looking forward to spending time with the family tomorrow and I am sure that will cheer me up no end.