I am blue!! It is not the weather as I love the sound of rain on the roof and goodness alone knows, we need it and so much more too. I am a winter person so the wind and the rain and cloudy skies are my friends.
Why am I blue? I am getting so tired of not being able to do THINGS. OK I can stand and wash dishes and cook meals even if the old back starts to howl after a few minutes but it's the not being able to carry things or bend down in the garden etc. etc. I begin to do something and have to sit down again so I sort of give up and do nothing which I realise is wrong but that's how it is. I see so many things that I once used to do and know darned well I can't do them now no matter how much I want to. I know I still have two legs and two arms and can see and hear (fairly well) andall that but the frustration does get to me.
On top of that for some unknown reason my diabetes has taken quite a sudden turn for the worse. I have increased one of my pills to the maximum and it doesn't seem to be making a tad of difference. There is nothing else I can take now except insulin. My MOH has been injecting insulin for his diabetes for over a year now and it doesn't really worry him but then he doesn't have any other real problems, and certainly not physical ones although he has slowed down a bit and does less now. Even he gets a little frustrated at times and seems to think that at 81 he should still be doing what he was doing at 30.
We see our endocrinologist on 1 June and before that I have to have a blood test and I dread to find out what my glycated haemoglobulin will be. Fortuanately I always ask that a copy of the pathology results be sent to my home so I am forewarned before I see the professor of the results.
I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping beyond hope that insulin is not going to be the answer. I guess I will have to be philosophical about all this but too many of these problems begin to make you wonder..is it all worth it?
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