Saturday, December 29, 2012


Both my grandsons have birthdays this month.  The eldest of the two (L) was 30 on 20th December and we all went to his mum and dad's home for a quiet afternoon tea on the Sunday before his birthday to spend time with him and wish him well.

Watching gifts being unwrapped on Christmas Day by his oldest sister and youngest niece (apologies about quality of photo).

"L" is very tall and has fair hair and is quite good-looking too.  He is a quiet person but has quite a sense of humour and is a very serious thinker.  I noticed him and MOH having a very serious conversation recently which they both seemed to be enjoying.  That pleased me.

I don't see "L" as often as I would like but single young men live quite a different life to we oldies and he is always busy with his work these days.  Although he studied intensely at university he has actually found his niche in the hospitality industry and, after working in that industry for several years, is now managing an hotel in Nedlands and we hope he will do well.  We also spent time with him at our granddaughter's home on Christmas Day so great to see him twice in the one month.

My younger grandson (J) will be 24 tomorrow and as I've not seen him for close to 11 years I am not even sure I would recognise him if I met him unexpectedly in the street as in the only photo I have of him he is about 17.  They can change quite a lot in 7 years.  This photo I believe was taken with one of his friends at the time of their school graduation celebration in ca 2005. 

He is the son of my own son who on my 70th birthday took it upon himself to divorce himself from all our family (including his own father) so my daughter and her family have not seen or heard from him and nor have I or MOH.

I believe "J" did very well at university and has a good job.  He no longer lives at home but shares accommodation with friends.  I still send him birthday cards but have not heard one word from him so obviously he has been told not to make contact or maybe he just doesn't want to or can't be bothered.  I cannot answer for what he does.

I am fortunate that my daughter-in-law, unbeknown to my son, keeps in touch with me via email about 2 to 3 times a year and through her I am kept somewhat up to date with what their family is doing.  She has sent me photos via email as the children were growing up for which I am most grateful.  It is still not the same as seeing them or even talking to them.

I know there are many disfunctional families out there but we are yet to understand why this situation developed in our own family.  Hopefully before, or even after I am gone, the truth will come out and perhaps there will family togetherness again.  One can only hope that this will finally eventuate.

In the meantime we celebrate "L's" birthday with him and content ourselves by sending "J" a birthday card wishing him all the best and hope it will have some meaning for him.


  1. Family dysfunctions are heartbreaking. People get so wound up in their own hurt and pain that they get so stubborn. I know that from my own experience - I am in the process if healing a rift at the moment and it's so hard to put all your own issues aside and look at the bigger picture. I hope you can get some closure on the matter, rather than waiting and hoping it will eventuate x

    1. Thanks BabyMac...If only we knew what the issues were in this case we could perhaps do something about them. It was so sudden with no explanation whatsoever. I have written to him but no reply and he has changed all their phone numbers...landline and both mobiles.
      At least I know he is still alive which I guess is something at least. x

  2. Both very handsome boys. Shame about the lack of contact.
    I have a similar lack of contact with one of my sons, but in his case it is because he doesn't want me involved in the troubles he has.

    1. Yes they are quite good looking fellows.
      It is sad when families don't keep together but in our case my son has no problems. He has a beautiful wife, two successful children, a beautiful home on 5 acres and a good job. Something in his mind obviously snapped suddenly causing him not wanting any contact with any of us. I doubt it will ever be resolved and we have to try and live with that.

  3. They are beautiful boys and I can feel your pride. Family dysfunction seems to be the norm sadly. My brothers virtually only talk to each other through a third party - me. Some years after my mother died we discovered that the brother she said was dead had survived her, and that we had cousins. Cousins we never knew existed. Sadly, with both the protagonaists dead we will never know what precipitated the falling out. Hopefully it will encourage us to not fall into the same pitfall.

  4. Thanks EC. Yes they are quite a handsome pair. It is just such a pity that the cousins are not in touch.
    We often wish we could see into a person's mind and find out just what has made them take certain unexpected actions. If only we could!
    Happy New Year from an extremely hot Perth. 42.1C (108F) today but respite on Wednesday and Thursday thank goodness then back to around 37C on the weekend. Not healthy weather for anyone.