I began this blog some months back with the intention of airing my thoughts and even going through my life with a series of What If's? It is now one month since I last wrote and I am beginning to think my brain has run dry of worthwhile thoughts. Sounds a dreadful thing to say but when I read blogs by others, including my daughter and granddaughter, I find the words no longer come for me. My daughter writes of being inspired by the seasons as they change and similar things. Why do I not have thoughts of that kind. I guess one day is much like the one just gone or the one that will be tomorrow.
Where exactly is my life heading? I plod, and I mean plod, along day after day getting nowhere in particular and feeling rather useless to myself and to others. I can sit here in front of my computer and have loads of fun but where does that really get me? I am not going anywhere and nor is my life. There are so many household tasks I should be doing but 'cos I can only stand for short bursts I don't tend to do them because I know it will hurt. When sitting here there is very little pain so it is tempting to do this all the time and forget those chores that cause me to ache. Not a wonderful way to look at life but at nearly 78 years of age I begin to wonder......what am I still doing here? I have lost so many dear ones over past years that there's only really me left of all my close friends and relations and my family are great but they are always very busy with many other things to attend to. I am only one person and cannot expect constant attention. I have a wonderful, loving husband but he is approaching 80 years of age so cannot expect him to be on the go all the time either. We are so fortunate to have each other and I in particular to have him. We both have our health problems but together we manage to get on with life, such as it is. We help each other all the time. We seldom have visitors nor do we have anywhere to go that attracts us. They say we should get out and socialise to keep healthy but why must we do so if that is not what we want to do. I keep my mind active if not my body all the time so what else should I do?
This may sound like lots of moaning and groaning but it is not meant to be as I am a quite happy person my nature and love to laugh. Unfortunately these days there is not so much to laugh at as there once was....not even any really good comedy shows on TV. I mean straight comedy not people constantly taking the mickey out of other people and being rude and using bad language. Guess you can say that all this does show I am getting old and I won't say the good old days were always the best but......perhaps in many ways they were.
I sound depressed but I am not but I'd best stop here in case anyone who may bother to read this become depressed on my behalf. Please don't be as I am grateful to have been granted the number of years I have been on this planet but it is going to be an uphill battle to reach the age of 95 but I shall keep on keeping on as well as I am able. The house may be a little dustier than in previous years and the weeds in the garden not dealt with as they once were but they are incidental to what life is really all about. We will get on with it and plod along until....................
95 you ask.........I have always said I would be around that long just to he an annoyance to others. I think the old mind just might last out but not sure about the poor old body but with today's medications who knows??