I know I'm 82 and have to expect things to be different to when I was 32 or even 52 but when did all this decrepitude come about? I guess it has been coming on for some years now, ever since I realised I could no longer go for a walk but when did it get this bad? I know I have chronic osteo arthritis and fibromyalgia (my wonderful physio does her best but there is only so much she can do at one time) but did it creep up on me or has it suddenly worsened? Probably the latter as I seem less able to do normal things easily now.
I do the dishes and have to sit down before I dry them up. I sweep half the kitchen floor and have to rest before I sweep the other half. I bend down to put something away in the lower cupboard and my right knee objects, and when DID the floor get so far away. I've shrunk a couple of inches so shouldn't it be closer?
Making beds is not funny any more. We have twin beds 'cos Phil has sleep apnoea (he uses a machine to help him keep breathing when he's asleep) and it's better for both of us to be in separate beds. Now we have two fitted sheets to put on instead of just the one and two lots of top sheets and blankets or whatever one has on top of the bed. Even poor old Phil has to sit down 'tween times and he, for his age, is pretty fit.
I sit at my computer for a couple of hours (far too long at one go obviously) and when I get up my legs take a while to get into gear before they obey my command to "MOVE!".
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| Oh my poor aching back!! |
I realised a few years back that my gardening days are over and managed to accept that and not being able to hang the washing on the line hasn't distressed me at all as I have a good man that does an excellent job with that. All being well I am able sometimes to take the dry clothes off the line which makes me feel I am at least being a little useful. You don't realise until it happens how much harder it is to hang out the clothes compared with taking them off.
I can still cook our meals. If they are lengthy recipes then I sit down for a few minutes and then get on with it again and it usually turns out quite well. Phil is great with the slow cooker and that takes care of lots of very tasty meals during the winter months. (Tomorrow we are actually going to try roast leg of lamb in the slower cooker. Found a recipe on the internet that sounds real easy so here's hoping).
Please believe me when I say I am not complaining but simply finally admitting to myself that I can no longer do the things I once did, the things I still long to do. I once loved going to the shops, just to look, not always to buy. Those days are long gone as now I have to remember to have my walker in the car and try to work out what I need to buy so there's not too much walking involved. I find the large stores don't have enough seats spread around their stores. I am sure there used to be more benches or is that my imagination. They want you to spend your hard earned and not sit down and rest. No profit in it for them if you do that. One day soon I must get back to the supermarket again. It's so long since I've been I am sure there are lots of new products I know nothing about.
I know it will hold Phil up as he does the shopping but he is very patient with me these days and I'm sure if I don't make a habit of it (not very likely) he'll put up with me just the once.
Please excuse the one huge moan but I had to get it off my chest as I was getting really cranky and that will never do. Oh damn!!! Now my left hip has begun to hurt and I'm only sitting down. Have to get up, grab my stick and walk about a bit before I sit down again. : )
