T'WAS THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS

My blogging mojo is still absent but I like to keep in touch so another poetic contribution that I hope you will enjoy and find amusing.  Author unknown.

T'was the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
 I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces, and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as only I can.....
"You can't spend the whole year, disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip;
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additonal ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread or  pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly  cry.
I'm hungy, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January's for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!!

I must admit I was fortunate in not putting on one ounce/gram over Christmas but in my case it's just as well I didn't. : )