Monday, January 27, 2014

JUST THINKING OUT LOUD..comparing today with 'back then'

Today I was listening to a discussion about paid maternity leave, and paternity leave also came into the discussion.  Whether or not one agrees with the concept of either or both is beside the point, but it seems the former is here to stay, at least in Australia, for the foreseeable future.  Just how it will work out for employees and employers is yet to be seen.  Some firms already have a type of maternity leave, other do not.

I do feel that people today want more worldly goods than we even thought about when we were young, and to achieve these ends it seems that both members of a partnership have to work to reach their goals.  Whether many couples could actually survive if only one partner was working in today's world is difficult to know.  So many things and attitudes are different today from those 'way back then'.  Some workers earn huge salaries today, while others on the minimum wage do not. 

When I first married I was 21 years old and had a very good position as an assistant claims clerk in a well known insurance company in Perth.  Back then, when you married, if you worked for a bank or an insurance company you had to give up your job.   It was the rule.  Although married women were employed by those enterprises they were usually older women, probably past child bearing age, such as Mrs Harvey who was my immediate boss.


It may seem strange to young people in this modern world but that's how it was and we didn't argue about it.  After our marriages, if we wanted to continue working, we would seek employment where your married state didn't matter to your employer.


A similar rule applied to women having a baby.  They would be allowed to work up to a certain stage of their pregnancy and then they would leave that job and probably not think of returning to the workforce until they had the number of children they'd planned to have (or didn't plan to have, whichever the case may have been).

I did find several jobs after my first marriage, one of which, in 1954, was a temporary position with the Teacher's Union here in W.A. As it happens the union was fighting for equal pay for female teachers and therefore they paid the male basic wage to their female employees.   The basic wage at that time, if I remember correctly, was about £12 per week.  I was in that job for 6 months so did very well on that salary.  I think most stenographers at that time would have been earning £6 to £8 per week.  When that temporary position ended I found part-time office work until I became pregnant with my first baby.  As it happened I was told to leave work and rest to prevent possible problems with the pregnancy.    Those problems did not happen and my beautiful daughter was born later that year.

I became a house mum, had no car so mainly it was public transport or Shank's pony.  I made nearly all my children's clothing whether or sewn or knitted (as well as making my husband's work shirts) and it was a busy life.  I eventually got a part-time job for a short while when both my children were at school so was always there when they arrived home.  I had no yearning to be back doing office work but was content just being there for everyone and never felt I was a lesser person just being a 'housewife'  I do hate that term.  I have nearly really seen myself as being married to a house but that's another story!!

No more about that now as I will speak of those years when I continue with 'Telling it on Tuesday'.  My main reason for writing this post was to show the changes that have taken place in the past 60 years.  Are those changes all good ones I wonder?  From an older person's point of view, home and family are so important.  Should modern mums (or dads for that matter) stay home at least for a few years after their children are born?  Are children any better off today being placed in child care rather than being home with their mums?  I guess that depends a lot on each particular mother.  There are those mums who teach their little ones from an early age so those children are ready to start school with knowledge already learned at home.  Unfortunately, there are mothers who are not equipped to teach their children a lot and if those mums go to work then maybe their children do well in child care facilities and the family is better off financially.

There are so many ifs, buts and ands, and there is not just one solution that fits every situation.  Are people, families,  better off?  Do they still have the leisure time we once had?  They earn much more, have great labour saving devices in their homes but, from what I've heard, many work longer hours and have no choice in the matter.  Do families today share lots of quality time together?  They have TV, computers, iPads, iPhones etc etc.  Those items to me don't seem to bring people together as we once were together.  Is the art of spoken communication being lost?

Me?  I am glad I was born when I was, even if it was in the middle of the Great Depression, even if we lived through a world war and other minor wars that followed. We were fortunate as we survived those turbulent times; many unfortunately did not.   Perhaps we didn't have much money, but could still afford annual holidays where we catered for ourselves and had so much fun.  They were good days and I do so worry about younger people today and what their future holds for them.

I know this 'thinking' began about maternity leave and became rather generalised but one thought led to another which is often the way with me when I begin thinking seriously.  Sorry about that but I like to express myself honestly so hope I've not trodden on anyone's toes. I would be interested to hear from other people of varying ages as I find the opinions of other people so very interesting.


10 comments:

  1. Oh Mimsie I love your honesty and things have changed a lot in 60 years and we all need to remember those days and ways. I quit my job when my oldest was 1 year old and started working fulltime on the farm. I would have to put the basket with the baby in the back behind the tractor seat in the cab and disc or cut the field. I put tiny little ear muffs on her. To this day many farmwoman still do that and it was only 35 years ago. I am grateful that I did not need to work off the farm because I see lots of single Mom's trying to do it alone now a days. It is a choice for some but not others. Love your honesty and your stories. Hug B

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    1. Thank you for your comments Buttons. Like you, my eldest granddaughter works from home. She has a blog Childhood101 from which she does earn some money and has in fact won two overseas awards for it which made us all very proud. I think you did a wonderful job 'working' at home too. I too feel for single mums (and dads) in this day and age. Some do have a real battle on their hands.

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  2. Some folks have a choice as to whether they stay home with their kids and others have no choice. Thinking back to when I was a kid it seemed like a woman was frowned upon if she elected to go to work. I'm picturing my mom in those days and it seems to me she was busy from the minute her feet hit the floor in the morning until she went to bed. I don't suppose anyone asked her what she wanted to do...she just did what was necessary and she always seemed happy.

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    1. Many do have a choice to stay home or return to work but what surprises me is the number of quite wealthy women who choose to leave their little ones when they are still very young. I think times have changed and perhaps the women's lib thing has made some women have less of the 'mothering' instinct. I know my days were full with just 2 children but then, as I said, I didn't have a car and shopping etc. could take up a lot of time.

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  3. Hari OM
    I love this Mimsie - thoughtful and meaningful post. Having remained single and childless, I perhaps have no real say in the matter; but I do know that as a godmother and aunt I was factored into the 'child care circle'!! No doubt things HAVE changed, but I think it is more in the balance than in the activities themselves. Work is there. Care is there. Both now involve a good deal more $$$. As a person, I too prefer the keep it simple and plain approach to life. Most of my pals though, are into the techno rush and social climb thing. No doubt it affects society and how it hangs together.

    The thing is, as a scholar of Sanskrit teachings (and indeed one can find similar in other ancient documents), I can tell you that the elders of the society of six - eight thousand years past lamented exactly the same things!!

    What a wonderful post my dear lady!! Keeping us on our mental toes. Good job. YAM xx

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    1. I am flattered by your kind comments but not sure I really deserve them. I am a simple soul at heart and just say it as I feel it, no matter what the subject.
      I feel with the experience you have had in your life you fully understand what I was saying here.
      I guess when it comes down to it, not a lot has changed over the centuries and we oldies will always look back on what was.

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  4. Definitely a very thought provoking post Mimsie. And yes, many many changes have occurred in these arenas over the past decades. I am just old enough to have seen and been part of some of them.
    My eldest daughter and her husband elected for her to be a stay-at-home Mum for my grandson. They are on one wage (his) and it is an unskilled job so the wage is not high by any means - and, they have a mortgage. They don't appear to have undue struggles, live simply and are happy. She has learnt clever ways to be thrifty. I am not judging anyone's decision, as I myself have been a working Mum.

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  5. Thank you for your comments Rose. Well done to your daughter but by saying that I'm not criticising you for making a different decision. Every person has a different reason for doing what they do or have done. I eventually returned to the workforce for financial reasons after my second marriage but by then my 2 children were 9 and 11 and I worked close to where we lived and to their school. I am glad I've given people food for thought here. It's good to have a good think about things and life in general.

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  6. I considered myself very fortunate that I was able to be a stay at home mum for 16 years to raise our girls, now that I am back in full time work for almost 10 years now. I long to be stay a home wife instead. xxxx

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  7. I had the choice to stay home with my kids and did so until the youngest went to school. Then I got a job to help out with paying for our first home, which didn't really work out well as hubby began gambling...but I really enjoyed being "just" a housewife. I found that raising the kids and managing the house really well were my ideal job.

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