Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Recently my oldest granddaughter lost her baby boy at just 16 weeks into her pregnancy. My heart goes out to her and her wonderful husband but also to the rest of our family who have lost a grandchild and a nephew before they got to meet him.

As for myself, I of course have lost a great-grandchild which loss I feel very deeply particularly as I am not sure there is the likelihood of any more great-grandchilren likely to arrive in the near future. My son's children may of course eventually have children but as he has alienated his family from the rest of us it on the cards that I may not see any great-grandchildren that may arrive.

My regrets at the loss of this child are strong but I am now wondering how I am likely to feel should my son's daughter and son have children, knowing I have great-grandchidren I may never see? It is not a prospect I look forward to.

There are so many wonderful things that happen during our lives and one must always be thankful for them but at times they can unfortunately be overshadowed by the sad and bad things that occur from time to time. It is easy to say "life must go on" and go on it must but one has at times to take a moment to reflect on what might have been.

Over 50 years ago I lost a baby only a short time into my pregnancy and hadn't even realised I was expecting a child. It came as a shock to me but I'd not had the anticipation and delight of pregnancy so remembering back perhaps there was not a lot of sadness associated with this loss. It was also not a good time to bring a child into the world (shortage of money etc)so perhaps there could have also been a small sigh of relief? That sounds hard I know but I am sure there are many cases where it is also true.

Having said all that I have often wondered if the baby I lost was a boy or a girl and what he/she would have grown up to be. Who would the child have looked like and how would he/she succeed in life....all those things often come into one's thoughts no matter how long ago the event took place.

Once again my thoughts are with my granddaughter and other members of the family and I hope the sadness will eventually abate and allow everyone to go forward once again.

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