Today I discovered that a so-called good friend had divulged information that I had told her in complete confidence. Fortunately it has no caused no problems and it was a very long time ago but nonetheless it does hurt to think that the person you trusted had feet of clay.
I have been told 'things' by people over the years that I would never consider passing on even after the person telling me the secret had passed on. You just don't do that.
I guess we expect everyone to behave the way our conscience tells us to behave but sadly this is not the case.
One moves on having learned another lesson in life.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
WILL THIS PROBLEM EVER BE RESOLVED?
It is now over 8 years since I spoke to my son, his wife or my two grandchildren.
It was on my 70th birthday (2 January, 2002) that my then 44 year old son, for reasons unknown, decided to divorce himself from all but his wife and children. Since that day he has not spoken to me, his step-father, his sister and her family or even his own father.
Why did this happen? My daughter, with my husband's co-operation, had planned an afternoon tea celebration at a lovely venue near Bibra Lake to celebrate my 70th birthday. Not long before this my son and his wife had moved into a large house they had built on a 5 acre block south of Perth. We knew they had a lot of expense at the time so my daughter, in her widsom, thought not to ask her brother to contribute towards this party.
Some beautiful invitations were sent out, one of which was sent to my son. Everyone invited replied either in the affirmative or negative but there was no response from my son. My daughter did telephone his home and leave a message with his daughter asking if they would be coming to the afternoon tea as the caterers needed to know final numbers. No response was forthcoming.
For many years my daughter has always taken a days leave from her job on 2 January and we always have lunch together. As it happened on 2/1/2002 she had just arrived at our home when the phone rang and it was my son to wish me a happy birthday (or I think that was the reason for the call). Some strange events then took place. He asked what we would be doing and I told him we would be going to lunch but did not mention who with. Unknown to myself my son was working at home that day and, had I known, I would have asked him to join us for lunch.
My daughter then rang her home and her own son said that her brother (my son) had phoned to ask where his sister was and of course was told she had "gone to Grandma's place". I then received a second call from my son and he made unpleasant remarks about the afternoon tea that was planned for the following Sunday and asked why it couldn't just have been for a few beers and some chips and were he and his family expected to attend "to be put on show". I explained that many of the folk attending were elderly and that an afternoon tea was far more suitable for all of us and also that they were known to he and his family so what was his problem.
A few more words were exchanged and then the statement was made by my son "I'll let you and ........(my daughter) get on organising the rest of our lives" and he hung up. That was the last I ever heard from him.
None of us can put a finger on what the real problem is although we are wondering if in his mind he suddenly came up with the fact that his father and I divorced when he (my son) was nearly 12 years of age and that this event had destroyed his life. This is far from the truth as his step-father (my OH) was very good to him and, in fact my son one day said "that I wouldn't have got as far as I have today if it hadn't been for .... (his step-father). I also know that on occasions when he had approached his own father for assistance he had been knocked back whereas we had, without hesitation, helped him in a small way a couple of times.
Fortunately I have been able to keep track to a small degree with how my son's family are doing and through Facebook have also been able to find out a little of how my now 23 year old granddaughter is doing.
If my son had died I would have grieved for him and had closure but, although he is alive and hopefully well, I still feel grief that I have not seen him for over 8 years, nor his wife or my two grandchildren both of whom were only children when I last had contact with them. I missed all their teenage years when they were growing up.
I know there are disfunctional families who face a similar dilemma and I wonder how they go about dealing with it. I tell people it no longer affects me but deep in my heart I feel a great loss, a loss I will carry with me until the day I die.
I did actually have several visits with a very good psychologist several years ago because of the way this problem with my son weighed on my mind. She helped me a great deal and we composed a letter to him which at that time was not sent. I did write to him in length some time later but received no response. Birthday and Christmas have always been remembered by us especially the 18th and 21st birthdays of the grandchildren and even they have never responded that gifts had been received.
I do not know what my son has told his children about their grandmother and perhaps they were forbidden to make contact with me or perhaps it didn't matter all that much to them. I suppose I am not likely to ever find the answer to that question either.
We do receive Christmas and birthday cards along with Mother's and Father's Day cards but they are sent by our daughter-in-law but whether my son knows about this I cannot say. It has been good that she has at least kept that link going but it is just not the same as seeing them occasionally.
I wonder if there is anyone that has the answer to this problem.....what would you do in similar circumstances?
It was on my 70th birthday (2 January, 2002) that my then 44 year old son, for reasons unknown, decided to divorce himself from all but his wife and children. Since that day he has not spoken to me, his step-father, his sister and her family or even his own father.
Why did this happen? My daughter, with my husband's co-operation, had planned an afternoon tea celebration at a lovely venue near Bibra Lake to celebrate my 70th birthday. Not long before this my son and his wife had moved into a large house they had built on a 5 acre block south of Perth. We knew they had a lot of expense at the time so my daughter, in her widsom, thought not to ask her brother to contribute towards this party.
Some beautiful invitations were sent out, one of which was sent to my son. Everyone invited replied either in the affirmative or negative but there was no response from my son. My daughter did telephone his home and leave a message with his daughter asking if they would be coming to the afternoon tea as the caterers needed to know final numbers. No response was forthcoming.
For many years my daughter has always taken a days leave from her job on 2 January and we always have lunch together. As it happened on 2/1/2002 she had just arrived at our home when the phone rang and it was my son to wish me a happy birthday (or I think that was the reason for the call). Some strange events then took place. He asked what we would be doing and I told him we would be going to lunch but did not mention who with. Unknown to myself my son was working at home that day and, had I known, I would have asked him to join us for lunch.
My daughter then rang her home and her own son said that her brother (my son) had phoned to ask where his sister was and of course was told she had "gone to Grandma's place". I then received a second call from my son and he made unpleasant remarks about the afternoon tea that was planned for the following Sunday and asked why it couldn't just have been for a few beers and some chips and were he and his family expected to attend "to be put on show". I explained that many of the folk attending were elderly and that an afternoon tea was far more suitable for all of us and also that they were known to he and his family so what was his problem.
A few more words were exchanged and then the statement was made by my son "I'll let you and ........(my daughter) get on organising the rest of our lives" and he hung up. That was the last I ever heard from him.
None of us can put a finger on what the real problem is although we are wondering if in his mind he suddenly came up with the fact that his father and I divorced when he (my son) was nearly 12 years of age and that this event had destroyed his life. This is far from the truth as his step-father (my OH) was very good to him and, in fact my son one day said "that I wouldn't have got as far as I have today if it hadn't been for .... (his step-father). I also know that on occasions when he had approached his own father for assistance he had been knocked back whereas we had, without hesitation, helped him in a small way a couple of times.
Fortunately I have been able to keep track to a small degree with how my son's family are doing and through Facebook have also been able to find out a little of how my now 23 year old granddaughter is doing.
If my son had died I would have grieved for him and had closure but, although he is alive and hopefully well, I still feel grief that I have not seen him for over 8 years, nor his wife or my two grandchildren both of whom were only children when I last had contact with them. I missed all their teenage years when they were growing up.
I know there are disfunctional families who face a similar dilemma and I wonder how they go about dealing with it. I tell people it no longer affects me but deep in my heart I feel a great loss, a loss I will carry with me until the day I die.
I did actually have several visits with a very good psychologist several years ago because of the way this problem with my son weighed on my mind. She helped me a great deal and we composed a letter to him which at that time was not sent. I did write to him in length some time later but received no response. Birthday and Christmas have always been remembered by us especially the 18th and 21st birthdays of the grandchildren and even they have never responded that gifts had been received.
I do not know what my son has told his children about their grandmother and perhaps they were forbidden to make contact with me or perhaps it didn't matter all that much to them. I suppose I am not likely to ever find the answer to that question either.
We do receive Christmas and birthday cards along with Mother's and Father's Day cards but they are sent by our daughter-in-law but whether my son knows about this I cannot say. It has been good that she has at least kept that link going but it is just not the same as seeing them occasionally.
I wonder if there is anyone that has the answer to this problem.....what would you do in similar circumstances?
Friday, March 26, 2010
MY LITTLE PATCH OF SKY
Where I sit in our living room gives me a limited view of the outside world but there is a little patch of sky that tells me so much, particularly about the weather. Quite often it is a brilliant blue and then little wisps of white cloud drift by which then form into quite large clouds and my comment then is "could be rain or even storms over the ranges today". Last night there was a really beautiful golden cloud with blue sky above it. It was just on sunset and I watched as this patch of gold gradually faded into nothing and it was very beautiful to watch.
The reason I don't see a lot of the outside world from where I sit is owing to the large amount of trees and shrubs outside. This particular little patch of sky is framed by a very tall King's Park Special bottlebrush, a jacaranda tree and an extremely large hawthorn bush in next door's garden and even a huge cyprus in a garden across the road. Our carport makes up the top part of the frame.
I am not a nosy person who really wants to know what other people are doing so find being surrounded by all this greenery, and at flowering time other colours, extremely restful. When we moved into our little old house in 1974 (these days they call it a cottage compared with those large, sprawling houses they build now) we were desperate to find a home of our own and money to borrow was almost non-existent. An agent found this house for us and we viewed it early one morning. We knew the house would be suitable for our needs and we were so lucky to be able to finance it through the then Home Building Society and in fact obtained the very last loan available. The lady in the Cottesloe branch worked really hard on our behalf and we have been ever grateful to her for her efforts. I think their funds were then frozen for quite some time before lending began again.
When we moved in there was virtually no garden...a couple of apple blossom hibiscus and a cotoneaster in the front garden and two cape lilacs in the back yard and let us not forget the prickly pear which I eventually managed to get rid of much to the horror my of OH. He really did like that PP but I was always worried one of the grandchildren just might brush against it so it went. After a short while I began planting (but possibly not planning as well as I should have) and now we are surrounded by trees and shrubs so there are really no signs of other houses very much at all. A glimpse of a roof here, a carport there and then very little other than greenery. (the very first plant was a French lavender bush by the front verandah and so you know we now have lavender popping up here and there and have about a dozen bushes which are all self-sown. The same with the duranta...one bush and now we have a number of them as well.
Of course, now that I am unable to do a great deal in the garden (practically nothing very useful) things have become a little rundown and I can't expect my dear OH to help in the house and keep up with the garden as well. We are so lucky to have had assistance in gradually restoring at least our back garden into some semblance of order and for that we will be eternally grateful. I am now planning on planting again but this time it will be a little better planned with water-wise plants many of which will be native species in the hope of attracting birds and even butterflies perhaps.
Seems our next five-year plan is looking at endeavouring to stay here, at least for the time being and while we are still able to do so. Who know what tomorrow will bring so one can only hope for the best and nothing more than that.
Now I will pop back into the living room, enjoy a cuppa with my OH and check on what is happening in my little patch of sky.
The reason I don't see a lot of the outside world from where I sit is owing to the large amount of trees and shrubs outside. This particular little patch of sky is framed by a very tall King's Park Special bottlebrush, a jacaranda tree and an extremely large hawthorn bush in next door's garden and even a huge cyprus in a garden across the road. Our carport makes up the top part of the frame.
I am not a nosy person who really wants to know what other people are doing so find being surrounded by all this greenery, and at flowering time other colours, extremely restful. When we moved into our little old house in 1974 (these days they call it a cottage compared with those large, sprawling houses they build now) we were desperate to find a home of our own and money to borrow was almost non-existent. An agent found this house for us and we viewed it early one morning. We knew the house would be suitable for our needs and we were so lucky to be able to finance it through the then Home Building Society and in fact obtained the very last loan available. The lady in the Cottesloe branch worked really hard on our behalf and we have been ever grateful to her for her efforts. I think their funds were then frozen for quite some time before lending began again.
When we moved in there was virtually no garden...a couple of apple blossom hibiscus and a cotoneaster in the front garden and two cape lilacs in the back yard and let us not forget the prickly pear which I eventually managed to get rid of much to the horror my of OH. He really did like that PP but I was always worried one of the grandchildren just might brush against it so it went. After a short while I began planting (but possibly not planning as well as I should have) and now we are surrounded by trees and shrubs so there are really no signs of other houses very much at all. A glimpse of a roof here, a carport there and then very little other than greenery. (the very first plant was a French lavender bush by the front verandah and so you know we now have lavender popping up here and there and have about a dozen bushes which are all self-sown. The same with the duranta...one bush and now we have a number of them as well.
Of course, now that I am unable to do a great deal in the garden (practically nothing very useful) things have become a little rundown and I can't expect my dear OH to help in the house and keep up with the garden as well. We are so lucky to have had assistance in gradually restoring at least our back garden into some semblance of order and for that we will be eternally grateful. I am now planning on planting again but this time it will be a little better planned with water-wise plants many of which will be native species in the hope of attracting birds and even butterflies perhaps.
Seems our next five-year plan is looking at endeavouring to stay here, at least for the time being and while we are still able to do so. Who know what tomorrow will bring so one can only hope for the best and nothing more than that.
Now I will pop back into the living room, enjoy a cuppa with my OH and check on what is happening in my little patch of sky.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
NEARLY 3 MONTHS OF 2010 GONE ALREADY
Today is 24th March which means one quarter of this year has already almost disappeared but where has that time gone and why does it appear to go so fast?
I can recount any outstanding events on one hand:
1) My birthday on 2 January spent on our front lawn with the family eating fish and
chips for dinner.
2) Lunch with #2 granddaughter and our #1 great-granddaughter. Always great to meet
with them.
3) Attending our #2 great-grandddaughter's second (grown-ups only) birthday bash at
her parent's home when we had a great time.
4) A leisurely lunch with a youngish friend of ours. The three of us really enjoy
each other's company and we try our best to be a support to him and he probably
to us when I come to think of it. He treats us as equals and not as old people
which is great as he is only in his mid-40s.
5) A great three hours spent at #1 grandddaughter's home where I had so much fun
playing with #2 GGD. I suddenly realised I was beginning to sound like the
presenters on Play School but at least I only had GGD as an audience so didn't
feel strange doing kiddie things.
In 3 months that doesn't sound a very exciting life but it was, of course, interspersed with a visit to my orthapaedic surgeon (12 month check following 2nd hip replacement); a visit to my doctor; a visit to my dentist; a couple of visits to my podiatrist; several visits to my physiotherapist and of course our exercise group each Wednesday morning. My Other Half now comes along as well as he has osteoporosis and the exercises, weights etc., are good for that complaint.
As I am unable to walk around very much, and certainly not for any length of time without my walking frame, I no longer have the pleasure of wandering around the shops and don't even spend a lot of time grocery shopping (save money that way). I am so glad my OH is still able to play golf; it's not so much the game but the pleasure of being in the great outdoors (so he tells me). There are others that say he probably just enjoys having a break from yours truly but I am sure that is not correct.
There have been some trying times for us too. Today our ducted airconditioner was finally repaired after months of frustration; our washing machine sprung a leak and then another leak but my brother came to the rescue and bought me a new one; the shelving in this room fell quite unexpectedly and now I have so many things to find homes for (fortunately I was not in here as I usually am); our little upright vacuum has given up the ghost so a new one of those is on the list. These are only material things but as you age you can do without this type of problem.
We fortunate that we are being helped to get our back garden into shape for which we are very grateful and I am hoping that in a few months that will look really good again. I used to do so much in the garden and it has suffered over the past few years as it has become a bit much for my OH to try and cope with all of it.
I take an interest in world affairs and try and keep up with the politics of the day but at times I wonder why I bother doing the latter. I feel very distressed at times when I hear about the dreadful catastrophes that happen in other parts of the world and worse still the hatred that so many people have for others that makes them take their own lives in order to kill others, and other dreadful things. Unfortunately I can do nothing about those things other than ponder on them and wonder why.
My computer is a very large part of my life now and I do enjoy using Facebook and a couple of the applications on there which occupies quite a lot of my time so maybe that is why time seems to be flying along. Genealogy has been put on the back burner at present. I had begun to go sideways and was finding 3rd, 4th and even 5th cousins and it truly was becoming a little bogged down. Perhaps later in the year I will get back to it as the 1911 census should be complete soon and there could be some items of interest to be found there.
SO...that has been 3 months in the life of this dear old soul and still it goes on and OH and I hope it will continue to do so for some years to come. We need and depend on each other and every day we are both grateful that we have each other.
I don't blog very often for the simple fact that my life to others must be a complete and utter bore but it is good occasionally to be able to sit down and write about things that are on my mind. I am not even sure that many people even read these posts but that doesn't really matter....just good to have an outlet for my thoughts. My daughter does some great blogging but then she has a very active and interesting life and, of course, my #1 granddaughter has won an award for her blogs dealing with early childhood. It is not that I don't have the ability with words but rather that I have so little to share that I feel would be of any interest to others.
I can recount any outstanding events on one hand:
1) My birthday on 2 January spent on our front lawn with the family eating fish and
chips for dinner.
2) Lunch with #2 granddaughter and our #1 great-granddaughter. Always great to meet
with them.
3) Attending our #2 great-grandddaughter's second (grown-ups only) birthday bash at
her parent's home when we had a great time.
4) A leisurely lunch with a youngish friend of ours. The three of us really enjoy
each other's company and we try our best to be a support to him and he probably
to us when I come to think of it. He treats us as equals and not as old people
which is great as he is only in his mid-40s.
5) A great three hours spent at #1 grandddaughter's home where I had so much fun
playing with #2 GGD. I suddenly realised I was beginning to sound like the
presenters on Play School but at least I only had GGD as an audience so didn't
feel strange doing kiddie things.
In 3 months that doesn't sound a very exciting life but it was, of course, interspersed with a visit to my orthapaedic surgeon (12 month check following 2nd hip replacement); a visit to my doctor; a visit to my dentist; a couple of visits to my podiatrist; several visits to my physiotherapist and of course our exercise group each Wednesday morning. My Other Half now comes along as well as he has osteoporosis and the exercises, weights etc., are good for that complaint.
As I am unable to walk around very much, and certainly not for any length of time without my walking frame, I no longer have the pleasure of wandering around the shops and don't even spend a lot of time grocery shopping (save money that way). I am so glad my OH is still able to play golf; it's not so much the game but the pleasure of being in the great outdoors (so he tells me). There are others that say he probably just enjoys having a break from yours truly but I am sure that is not correct.
There have been some trying times for us too. Today our ducted airconditioner was finally repaired after months of frustration; our washing machine sprung a leak and then another leak but my brother came to the rescue and bought me a new one; the shelving in this room fell quite unexpectedly and now I have so many things to find homes for (fortunately I was not in here as I usually am); our little upright vacuum has given up the ghost so a new one of those is on the list. These are only material things but as you age you can do without this type of problem.
We fortunate that we are being helped to get our back garden into shape for which we are very grateful and I am hoping that in a few months that will look really good again. I used to do so much in the garden and it has suffered over the past few years as it has become a bit much for my OH to try and cope with all of it.
I take an interest in world affairs and try and keep up with the politics of the day but at times I wonder why I bother doing the latter. I feel very distressed at times when I hear about the dreadful catastrophes that happen in other parts of the world and worse still the hatred that so many people have for others that makes them take their own lives in order to kill others, and other dreadful things. Unfortunately I can do nothing about those things other than ponder on them and wonder why.
My computer is a very large part of my life now and I do enjoy using Facebook and a couple of the applications on there which occupies quite a lot of my time so maybe that is why time seems to be flying along. Genealogy has been put on the back burner at present. I had begun to go sideways and was finding 3rd, 4th and even 5th cousins and it truly was becoming a little bogged down. Perhaps later in the year I will get back to it as the 1911 census should be complete soon and there could be some items of interest to be found there.
SO...that has been 3 months in the life of this dear old soul and still it goes on and OH and I hope it will continue to do so for some years to come. We need and depend on each other and every day we are both grateful that we have each other.
I don't blog very often for the simple fact that my life to others must be a complete and utter bore but it is good occasionally to be able to sit down and write about things that are on my mind. I am not even sure that many people even read these posts but that doesn't really matter....just good to have an outlet for my thoughts. My daughter does some great blogging but then she has a very active and interesting life and, of course, my #1 granddaughter has won an award for her blogs dealing with early childhood. It is not that I don't have the ability with words but rather that I have so little to share that I feel would be of any interest to others.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
FEELING MY AGE AND A LITTLE SAD
My daughter, her husband, three of their children and their two grandchildren are all sharing a holiday in Dunsborough for a few days and good luck to them. I've not heard from them but judging by posts on Facebook I think they are having a wonderful time and they all deserve to do just that.
I am feeling sad 'cos I think me and my OH are now too old to share in these types of family events. He and I used to take our three eldest granddaughters on holidays to
Dunsborough, Busselton and Albany and we had a wonderful time and if you talk about it to them they too remember nothing but good times. On the last occasion when we went to Busselton our oldest grandson and a friend of our oldest granddaughter also joined us.
I in no way begrudge them all getting together but it would be so wonderful to be sharing the pleasure with them. I guess a time comes in one's life when you have to let things like that go out of your life and instead enjoy what is left to enjoy.
I am with them in spirit and enjoying......well, just remembering.
I am feeling sad 'cos I think me and my OH are now too old to share in these types of family events. He and I used to take our three eldest granddaughters on holidays to
Dunsborough, Busselton and Albany and we had a wonderful time and if you talk about it to them they too remember nothing but good times. On the last occasion when we went to Busselton our oldest grandson and a friend of our oldest granddaughter also joined us.
I in no way begrudge them all getting together but it would be so wonderful to be sharing the pleasure with them. I guess a time comes in one's life when you have to let things like that go out of your life and instead enjoy what is left to enjoy.
I am with them in spirit and enjoying......well, just remembering.
Friday, March 12, 2010
SUMMER GO AWAY....WHERE IS AUTUMN?
I have really had it up to here with this damned hot weather....41C today and this is 12C above the average....28C overnight which is the hottest Perth night for 76 years. No rain for over 3 months and not only are our gardens suffering but we are as well.
I have never been a fan of summer and much prefer winter but even those that tolerate hot weather rather well are feeling jaded too. There are clouds in the sky but no precipitation whatsoever. Even if a shower fell it would evaporate before it hit the ground.
We are promised 'possible' showers on the weekend and weather in the mid-twenties next week and I watch the forecasts with trepidation as they have promised us that recently only to have the temps be anything up to 10 degree more than forecast.
Please Hughie have pity on the people of Perth and other parts of Western Australia and cool us down, send us some rain.
I heard the other day that the long range forecast is for rain on 24th March...that is nearly 2 weeks away. Of course if it doesn't rain then I think the old belief is that it won't rain until about the second Sunday after Easter....OMG Easter is not till early April.
To make matters worse our ducted R/C airconditiong is still not fixed but I guess we must be thankful for the hold in the wall (vintage 1988) R/C aircon in the living room. I can't wait though till my kitchen (and the bedroom at night) are cool again. I want my life back!!!!
I have never been a fan of summer and much prefer winter but even those that tolerate hot weather rather well are feeling jaded too. There are clouds in the sky but no precipitation whatsoever. Even if a shower fell it would evaporate before it hit the ground.
We are promised 'possible' showers on the weekend and weather in the mid-twenties next week and I watch the forecasts with trepidation as they have promised us that recently only to have the temps be anything up to 10 degree more than forecast.
Please Hughie have pity on the people of Perth and other parts of Western Australia and cool us down, send us some rain.
I heard the other day that the long range forecast is for rain on 24th March...that is nearly 2 weeks away. Of course if it doesn't rain then I think the old belief is that it won't rain until about the second Sunday after Easter....OMG Easter is not till early April.
To make matters worse our ducted R/C airconditiong is still not fixed but I guess we must be thankful for the hold in the wall (vintage 1988) R/C aircon in the living room. I can't wait though till my kitchen (and the bedroom at night) are cool again. I want my life back!!!!
I NEARLY WASN'T HERE TODAY
Every night at about 10.30pm I come out into my work room, wake my computer up and check on anything that has to be done before I go to bed. Last night was different and how glad I am that it was. I have been doing this for months without fail.
My other half and I had been watching a DVD and at 10.00 I suddenly remembered it was the first Footy Show for the year (Aussie Rules football that is) so decided to turn to that channel and check it out.
Half an hour later there was tremendous crash from the back of the house but when OH checked the back verandah he said all was OK. Although I could think of nothing in there that could have caused such a noise, I suggested he look in my work room and what we saw was unbelievable. For 20 years (give or take a year of two) there has been this huge set of shelves (about 4'6" x 6"...you can make that metric if you prefer) which has been sitting on top of a very sturdy lower cabinet. There were some books, photo albums, boxes of photographs etc. etc. and my radio/CD/cassette plus lots of CDs and tapes.
The whole lot was tipped over on the floor. It had landed on my large chair right where I would have been sitting at my computer. I may have survived but I am sure I would have been seriously injured. My arthritis makes me rather slow moving and without any warning I doubt I would have got out of the way of everything that fell. I had the same feeling that folk who miss catching a plane must have when they hear of that plane having crashed. Why did that happen? Why on that one night did I not come out here to my work room? The only answer I have is that only the good die young!!!
Nearly all my family are away on holiday for a few days and I am so glad they were not contacted with some bad news about what had happened to me.
I wondered if white ants (termites) had somehow gotten into the shelving but no nothing like that at all and it is still quite intact. My brother says we must have a ghost but if this is true then he is a friendly fellow 'cos he made sure I wasn't injured.
I have to say a special thanks to my dear old OH who, helped me pick up everything off the floor and then carefully managed to tip the shelving even further and we got it outside through the back door. All this done on a day when the temperature topped 41C with no airconditioning out here. For a man of 80 my OH is really fantastic.
My main problem now is to re-sort all those dozens and dozens of photographs but that is a small price to pay with regard to an event that could have been an absolute disaster.
My other half and I had been watching a DVD and at 10.00 I suddenly remembered it was the first Footy Show for the year (Aussie Rules football that is) so decided to turn to that channel and check it out.
Half an hour later there was tremendous crash from the back of the house but when OH checked the back verandah he said all was OK. Although I could think of nothing in there that could have caused such a noise, I suggested he look in my work room and what we saw was unbelievable. For 20 years (give or take a year of two) there has been this huge set of shelves (about 4'6" x 6"...you can make that metric if you prefer) which has been sitting on top of a very sturdy lower cabinet. There were some books, photo albums, boxes of photographs etc. etc. and my radio/CD/cassette plus lots of CDs and tapes.
The whole lot was tipped over on the floor. It had landed on my large chair right where I would have been sitting at my computer. I may have survived but I am sure I would have been seriously injured. My arthritis makes me rather slow moving and without any warning I doubt I would have got out of the way of everything that fell. I had the same feeling that folk who miss catching a plane must have when they hear of that plane having crashed. Why did that happen? Why on that one night did I not come out here to my work room? The only answer I have is that only the good die young!!!
Nearly all my family are away on holiday for a few days and I am so glad they were not contacted with some bad news about what had happened to me.
I wondered if white ants (termites) had somehow gotten into the shelving but no nothing like that at all and it is still quite intact. My brother says we must have a ghost but if this is true then he is a friendly fellow 'cos he made sure I wasn't injured.
I have to say a special thanks to my dear old OH who, helped me pick up everything off the floor and then carefully managed to tip the shelving even further and we got it outside through the back door. All this done on a day when the temperature topped 41C with no airconditioning out here. For a man of 80 my OH is really fantastic.
My main problem now is to re-sort all those dozens and dozens of photographs but that is a small price to pay with regard to an event that could have been an absolute disaster.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
FRIENDS OVER THE YEARS (Pt 3)
I am still reminiscing about people in my life and I am now thinking of your men with whom I was friends between ages 15 and 20. I really never liked boys when I was young and this is possibly because I always went to girls only schools and apart from my half-brother (nearly 21 years older than me and more like an uncle) I didn't know any boys at all. Even friends out of school were all girls.
As mentioned before our family went to Mandurah twice a year on holidays and when I had just turned 15 a young man (and his family) brought his yacht to Mandurah. The ANA Yacht Club had been thinking of holding a yachting regatta for sharpies in Mandurah Estuary at Easter each year and they wanted Gary to take his yacht (and crew of two) to try out Mandurah for them.
They were all staying at the boarding house we stayed at and Gary asked me would I like to go for a sail. Having hardly ever spoken to a boy in my life before or been in a yacht I said a very adamant 'NO' which I thought would be the end of the matter. My mother had other ideas and said if I wouldn't go for a sail, then she would. Not thinking this would be a good idea I said "OK I will go". That was the start of my love of yachting (I eventually owned my own VJ) and my relationship with Gary. He was a lovely young fellow (as were John and Ron...his crew) and we enjoyed many months of sailing and just hanging out together (movies, going for long walks) but he became far too serious for a girl of 15 so I stopped seeing him. He would visit my mum when I was out and eventually I began seeing him again for another six months but even at age 16 he was just too serious so again we split. I remember Gary very fondly and was distressed several years ago to hear he had had both legs amputated (due to diabetes) and eventually died in 2007 when he was 76. I hope until he became ill that he had a happy life. He deserved that.
P.S. to the above. The regatta for sharpies was held at Easter in Mandurah for quite a number of years and was a great success. When I was 17 I even took my little VJ down and had so much fun, even on the windiest days with lots of capsizes but it was wonderful.
I went out on occasional dates with a few different young men and of course knew lots of different people that my girlfriends and I met at the various dances we went to each week. We also used to dance when on holidays in Mandurah.
I had two more what you might call serious boyfriends one being Laurie (who worked for my brother). We went out for about a year but that relationship cooled (can't remember why now) and then I met Terry with whom I went out for another year but that wasn't really going anywhere and I was glad when he told me he had met another girl and would I meet with her. I did this and Mary was really lovely and she and Terry eventally married. Unfortunately Terry must have sufferd from depression because he committed suicide while quite young leaving Mary with two small children to care for.
Three months before my 19th birthday my mum saw the Department of Civil Aviation advertising for shorthand typists in Melbourne and she suggested I apply for a job with them. I had to sit the Commonwealth exam which was no problem so in October, 1950 I flew to Melbourne on a DC4 with a stopover at Parafield in Adelaide.
I worked with some lovely people at DCA and also lodged with some great folk at Shelbourne Lodge in South Yarra. I had gone on my own as my girlfriends' parents didn't like the idea of their daughters going so far from home when they were only 18 or 19. Things were very different back then from what they are today. I did go out with two young men over there....Jack and Laurie and they were very nice too but they were just casual friendships with nothing permanent likely. One young lad I worked with was Geoff and he used to talk to me about this girlfriend with whom he was always having problems; he was like a young brother to me. I do remember he followed Richmond in the VFL and I often wonder how his life turned out.
I returned to Perth in April 1951 with a return ticket to Melbourne which I could use whenever I chose to do so. Meeting friends again and being home was too much for me so I sent the ticket back and said I would not be returning to Melbourne. I often wonder what would have happened had I gone back. Would I perhaps have met up with Jack again (he and I did get on very well together) but this comes under the heading of What If? so no good even going there.
It was not very long after returning home that I met my first husband and we married in 1953. He had quite a few friends and unfortunately because of the interests etc he shared with them, he was less inclined to see many of my friends which I now very much regret. After he and I separated in 1966 I of course did not see his friends any more and my second husband, also newly divorced, having come from England in 1960 also lost friends so it was virtually just the two of us and my two children.
I have mentioned the friends I had over the years and how in later years nearly all of them have passed on. I still had some nice friends with whom I had worked and we kept in touch at Christmas and there were four of us that met 2 or 3 times a year for lunch. Ellen died in 2008, Val is not very well and is very occupied with her daughter's family so my only good friend now is Lois. She lives in Mandurah so we seldom see each other but do email each other and chat on the phone from time to time. She and her family have suffered two horrible tragedies over the past 15 months (the death of two of her grandsons) and I have given her what support I can and I think she is going to be OK. I am hoping to catch up with her again soon, perhaps lunch one day.
My one lifelong friend of course was Judy who died in February last year and I have talked about her before....the fun we had together and the laughs and I will always cherish her memories (the bad with the good) with so much pleasure. There is one other friend we now have. It is Richard, Judy's youngest son who came home from many years in New South Wales to help care for his mum. His 3 older siblings have treated him very shabbily since their mums's death and he often rings me for a chat, and hubby and I meet him for a lunch at a place where we met with Richard and Judy for lunch. I can't take his mother's place but like to feel I am there for him if he needs me.
Now there is just my dear old hubby and me....I guess we are a sort of Darby and Joan couple now. The family are always so busy in this rip, rush, tear world so we see much less of them now than in years gone by. They have their lives to lead and are now self-sufficient; we have had our lives which have been very good and we still have each other and I can only hope that continues on for some years to come. We help each other and look after each other and one would be lost without the other. I can't imagine an existence without my 'other' half.
I certainly have rambled on and on but it has been good for me to reminisce in this way as so many happy, happy memories have come flooding back to keep me company. I doubt anyone has read right through to the bottom of this post but, if you have, then thanks for doing that. I hope you too have happy memories of friends over the years.
As mentioned before our family went to Mandurah twice a year on holidays and when I had just turned 15 a young man (and his family) brought his yacht to Mandurah. The ANA Yacht Club had been thinking of holding a yachting regatta for sharpies in Mandurah Estuary at Easter each year and they wanted Gary to take his yacht (and crew of two) to try out Mandurah for them.
They were all staying at the boarding house we stayed at and Gary asked me would I like to go for a sail. Having hardly ever spoken to a boy in my life before or been in a yacht I said a very adamant 'NO' which I thought would be the end of the matter. My mother had other ideas and said if I wouldn't go for a sail, then she would. Not thinking this would be a good idea I said "OK I will go". That was the start of my love of yachting (I eventually owned my own VJ) and my relationship with Gary. He was a lovely young fellow (as were John and Ron...his crew) and we enjoyed many months of sailing and just hanging out together (movies, going for long walks) but he became far too serious for a girl of 15 so I stopped seeing him. He would visit my mum when I was out and eventually I began seeing him again for another six months but even at age 16 he was just too serious so again we split. I remember Gary very fondly and was distressed several years ago to hear he had had both legs amputated (due to diabetes) and eventually died in 2007 when he was 76. I hope until he became ill that he had a happy life. He deserved that.
P.S. to the above. The regatta for sharpies was held at Easter in Mandurah for quite a number of years and was a great success. When I was 17 I even took my little VJ down and had so much fun, even on the windiest days with lots of capsizes but it was wonderful.
I went out on occasional dates with a few different young men and of course knew lots of different people that my girlfriends and I met at the various dances we went to each week. We also used to dance when on holidays in Mandurah.
I had two more what you might call serious boyfriends one being Laurie (who worked for my brother). We went out for about a year but that relationship cooled (can't remember why now) and then I met Terry with whom I went out for another year but that wasn't really going anywhere and I was glad when he told me he had met another girl and would I meet with her. I did this and Mary was really lovely and she and Terry eventally married. Unfortunately Terry must have sufferd from depression because he committed suicide while quite young leaving Mary with two small children to care for.
Three months before my 19th birthday my mum saw the Department of Civil Aviation advertising for shorthand typists in Melbourne and she suggested I apply for a job with them. I had to sit the Commonwealth exam which was no problem so in October, 1950 I flew to Melbourne on a DC4 with a stopover at Parafield in Adelaide.
I worked with some lovely people at DCA and also lodged with some great folk at Shelbourne Lodge in South Yarra. I had gone on my own as my girlfriends' parents didn't like the idea of their daughters going so far from home when they were only 18 or 19. Things were very different back then from what they are today. I did go out with two young men over there....Jack and Laurie and they were very nice too but they were just casual friendships with nothing permanent likely. One young lad I worked with was Geoff and he used to talk to me about this girlfriend with whom he was always having problems; he was like a young brother to me. I do remember he followed Richmond in the VFL and I often wonder how his life turned out.
I returned to Perth in April 1951 with a return ticket to Melbourne which I could use whenever I chose to do so. Meeting friends again and being home was too much for me so I sent the ticket back and said I would not be returning to Melbourne. I often wonder what would have happened had I gone back. Would I perhaps have met up with Jack again (he and I did get on very well together) but this comes under the heading of What If? so no good even going there.
It was not very long after returning home that I met my first husband and we married in 1953. He had quite a few friends and unfortunately because of the interests etc he shared with them, he was less inclined to see many of my friends which I now very much regret. After he and I separated in 1966 I of course did not see his friends any more and my second husband, also newly divorced, having come from England in 1960 also lost friends so it was virtually just the two of us and my two children.
I have mentioned the friends I had over the years and how in later years nearly all of them have passed on. I still had some nice friends with whom I had worked and we kept in touch at Christmas and there were four of us that met 2 or 3 times a year for lunch. Ellen died in 2008, Val is not very well and is very occupied with her daughter's family so my only good friend now is Lois. She lives in Mandurah so we seldom see each other but do email each other and chat on the phone from time to time. She and her family have suffered two horrible tragedies over the past 15 months (the death of two of her grandsons) and I have given her what support I can and I think she is going to be OK. I am hoping to catch up with her again soon, perhaps lunch one day.
My one lifelong friend of course was Judy who died in February last year and I have talked about her before....the fun we had together and the laughs and I will always cherish her memories (the bad with the good) with so much pleasure. There is one other friend we now have. It is Richard, Judy's youngest son who came home from many years in New South Wales to help care for his mum. His 3 older siblings have treated him very shabbily since their mums's death and he often rings me for a chat, and hubby and I meet him for a lunch at a place where we met with Richard and Judy for lunch. I can't take his mother's place but like to feel I am there for him if he needs me.
Now there is just my dear old hubby and me....I guess we are a sort of Darby and Joan couple now. The family are always so busy in this rip, rush, tear world so we see much less of them now than in years gone by. They have their lives to lead and are now self-sufficient; we have had our lives which have been very good and we still have each other and I can only hope that continues on for some years to come. We help each other and look after each other and one would be lost without the other. I can't imagine an existence without my 'other' half.
I certainly have rambled on and on but it has been good for me to reminisce in this way as so many happy, happy memories have come flooding back to keep me company. I doubt anyone has read right through to the bottom of this post but, if you have, then thanks for doing that. I hope you too have happy memories of friends over the years.
Monday, March 8, 2010
FRIENDS OVER THE YEARS (Pt 2)
More friends 12-15: We lived in Coronation Street in North Perth from when I was about 10-13 and I had three really great friends who also lived in that street. Mildred A. Pat McM and Pat L. They all went to the same catholic school in Leederville whereas I was going to Perth College but the 4 of us spent so much time together enjoying games like hop scotch and skipping. Many years later I did see Pat L. again. She owned a jewellery shop in Garden City Shopping Centre and we had several chats over time but the shop has since changed hands so that contact is now lost.
Friends 15-21 and beyond: I began working for an insurance assessor in May of 1947 and made some good friends there. June and I began working on the same day, then came Wilma and Peg and a little later Val joined the firm. Greta was the 'head' girl and she and I were also great friends and in fact it was me she chose to talk to about her problem of becoming pregnant to her boyfriend. I was only 17 and she 21 but she obviously felt I was someone who was a good listener and perhaps reasonably intelligent. She married said boyfriend but they later divorced.
June and I loved to dance and would stay at each other's homes so we could go to local tennis club dances. Wilma also used to join us and sometimes they would both sleep over at our place in North Perth. We went to the dances at Mt Lawley, Alexander Park, and Nedlands Tennis Clubs and also at the University where the dance was held in the refectory. Those were wonderful times and as teenagers we were never bored although there was no television, computers or the like. We didn't need them as life was far too full to waste it sitting looking at screens of various sizes. There were just so any other wonderful things to do.
I went to the weddings of 4 of the girls but June married while I was over working in Melbourne so missed her wedding. I kept in touch with Val and Wilma and they were my two attendants at my first wedding when I was 21. Peg lost her lovely husband David to cancer while she was quite young and had (I think) 4 young children. I did meet up with her again years later when she and I were living in Mount Lawley and did go to her home for lunch but it was a one off which was a great pity. She was a lovely gentle lady.
In 1987 I realised it was 40 years since I began that job with these girls and although I had kept in touch with Val, I was also able to contact June and Wilma and we all met for lunch at Kings Park. We had a great chin wag and kept in touch and had meals at each other's places. Sadly Wilma became very ill and succumbed to breast cancer in 1989 when she was only 57. June, Val and I all lived quite some distance from each other, one to the north and one to the south of where I live but we still saw each other occasionally until, sadly, Val died in 1998 aged 65. She was diabetic and it was a heart attack that finally caused her death, a complication of the diabetes.
June and her hubby Doug are still going strong and enjoying their life in a retirement village in Merriwa. We keep in touch with cards at Christmas and for birthdays. I should telephone her one day soon and make proper contact again.
In my next post I will talk about my lifelong friend Judy who died last year and others I knew during my teenage years.
This may not be all that interesting to others but I am enjoying looking back on friends I have had and people I have known, many of whom I was really very fond of.
I have never regretted organising our little 40 year reunion but do so regret the early deaths of two very dear friends.
Friends 15-21 and beyond: I began working for an insurance assessor in May of 1947 and made some good friends there. June and I began working on the same day, then came Wilma and Peg and a little later Val joined the firm. Greta was the 'head' girl and she and I were also great friends and in fact it was me she chose to talk to about her problem of becoming pregnant to her boyfriend. I was only 17 and she 21 but she obviously felt I was someone who was a good listener and perhaps reasonably intelligent. She married said boyfriend but they later divorced.
June and I loved to dance and would stay at each other's homes so we could go to local tennis club dances. Wilma also used to join us and sometimes they would both sleep over at our place in North Perth. We went to the dances at Mt Lawley, Alexander Park, and Nedlands Tennis Clubs and also at the University where the dance was held in the refectory. Those were wonderful times and as teenagers we were never bored although there was no television, computers or the like. We didn't need them as life was far too full to waste it sitting looking at screens of various sizes. There were just so any other wonderful things to do.
I went to the weddings of 4 of the girls but June married while I was over working in Melbourne so missed her wedding. I kept in touch with Val and Wilma and they were my two attendants at my first wedding when I was 21. Peg lost her lovely husband David to cancer while she was quite young and had (I think) 4 young children. I did meet up with her again years later when she and I were living in Mount Lawley and did go to her home for lunch but it was a one off which was a great pity. She was a lovely gentle lady.
In 1987 I realised it was 40 years since I began that job with these girls and although I had kept in touch with Val, I was also able to contact June and Wilma and we all met for lunch at Kings Park. We had a great chin wag and kept in touch and had meals at each other's places. Sadly Wilma became very ill and succumbed to breast cancer in 1989 when she was only 57. June, Val and I all lived quite some distance from each other, one to the north and one to the south of where I live but we still saw each other occasionally until, sadly, Val died in 1998 aged 65. She was diabetic and it was a heart attack that finally caused her death, a complication of the diabetes.
June and her hubby Doug are still going strong and enjoying their life in a retirement village in Merriwa. We keep in touch with cards at Christmas and for birthdays. I should telephone her one day soon and make proper contact again.
In my next post I will talk about my lifelong friend Judy who died last year and others I knew during my teenage years.
This may not be all that interesting to others but I am enjoying looking back on friends I have had and people I have known, many of whom I was really very fond of.
I have never regretted organising our little 40 year reunion but do so regret the early deaths of two very dear friends.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
YEARNING FOR THE SOUND OF A WELL KNOWN VOICE
I am finding that the art of actually talking seems to be terribly out fashion; I mean the art of having a conversation with friends and loved ones. This appears to be the case particularly among the young.
It is fine to receive an email occasionally or chat on Facebook but what I miss is the sound of the voices of people of whom I am fond. My husband and I talk but you can't go on chatting to each other all the time, besides he does enjoy reading and is not one for idle chat. We do have some quite in depth conversations at times about all sorts of topics and for this I am truly grateful.
I do telephone people and we talk which is great but I am nearly always the one that does the telephoning so I wonder perhaps whoever I ring doesn't really want to talk but is just being polite. If they did really want to talk would they not perhaps telephone me occasionally. I also find people don't have time to talk or just can't be bothered. It seems that texting on one's mobile has also taken the place of real conversation which to me is sad.
There is a lady of 87 who lives in Canberra (she is actually my ex-sister-in-law) and she does ring me and we have talked for up to 3 hours which to some people may seem excessive (this is not weekly but more like every 6 weeks perhaps). She and I can converse on any topic which is another disadvantage with many people these days as so many subjects seem to be considred taboo.
To me there is nothing like a friendly discussion about politics, football, art, religion or even the weather and one doesn't have to fall out about any of these subjects but agree to differe. It is only through discussion that one can learn about each other and when listening to their views also learn more about a subject.
All I know is I would love to hear the voices of those people that I care about more often than I do but I guess I have to learn to live the modern way of life which is not to my liking but over which I have very little control. Could it just be a case of out of sight, out of mind???
It is fine to receive an email occasionally or chat on Facebook but what I miss is the sound of the voices of people of whom I am fond. My husband and I talk but you can't go on chatting to each other all the time, besides he does enjoy reading and is not one for idle chat. We do have some quite in depth conversations at times about all sorts of topics and for this I am truly grateful.
I do telephone people and we talk which is great but I am nearly always the one that does the telephoning so I wonder perhaps whoever I ring doesn't really want to talk but is just being polite. If they did really want to talk would they not perhaps telephone me occasionally. I also find people don't have time to talk or just can't be bothered. It seems that texting on one's mobile has also taken the place of real conversation which to me is sad.
There is a lady of 87 who lives in Canberra (she is actually my ex-sister-in-law) and she does ring me and we have talked for up to 3 hours which to some people may seem excessive (this is not weekly but more like every 6 weeks perhaps). She and I can converse on any topic which is another disadvantage with many people these days as so many subjects seem to be considred taboo.
To me there is nothing like a friendly discussion about politics, football, art, religion or even the weather and one doesn't have to fall out about any of these subjects but agree to differe. It is only through discussion that one can learn about each other and when listening to their views also learn more about a subject.
All I know is I would love to hear the voices of those people that I care about more often than I do but I guess I have to learn to live the modern way of life which is not to my liking but over which I have very little control. Could it just be a case of out of sight, out of mind???
FRIENDS OVER THE YEARS (PT 1)
I have been thinking sadly of late of the the number of people I have known and who have passed away and it got me thinking about all the wonderful friends/acquaintances I've had over the years. Seemed a good time to reminisce about those that I remember with much fondness. I doubt even one of them is likely to read my blogs, but you never know....it is a small world after all.
Friends from age 5 - 12. After coming up to Perth from our farm in Narrikup in the southwest of Western Australia I attended Victoria Square Convent (now known as Mercedes College) in Goderich Street, East Perth just near St Mary's Cathedral.
During my 6 years at that school my main friends were Shirley (she and I were the only protestant children in our class), June, Kathleen, Daphne and Vera. Of course there were others but those five would have been my closest friends.
Also during that period I had annual friends when we went to Mandurah for our holidays. These included Nancy (from Pinjarra) Jill (from Waroona) and Judy Smith. There were also the boys who came down with their folks every year....Rex, John and Mervyn. We used to have lots of fun fishing, swimming etc. but during the year we all went our separate ways. I actually met Mervyn when I was working in Melbourne in 1951 but that is another story.
Friends from age 12-15. I attended Perth College 1944-1945 and there my three best friends were Pam, Hilary and Betty. Unfortunately I lost touch with them when I left and attended City Commercial College in 1946 where my three best friends were Kathleen (with whom I had been friends at Mercedes), Shirley (who had been in my class at Perth College) and June Uren. We also lost touch after I began working in May of 1947.
I think one of the reason I lost touch with people was because my family moved around quite a lot and transport during those years was not good owing to petrol rationing etc during the war years, and the fact that very few people had telephones unless they used them for business. I often think of those friends and wonder where they are, if they are still living and what course their lives took. I can only hope they were all happy and content.
In part 2 I will take time to think of friends I had from age 15-20.
Friends from age 5 - 12. After coming up to Perth from our farm in Narrikup in the southwest of Western Australia I attended Victoria Square Convent (now known as Mercedes College) in Goderich Street, East Perth just near St Mary's Cathedral.
During my 6 years at that school my main friends were Shirley (she and I were the only protestant children in our class), June, Kathleen, Daphne and Vera. Of course there were others but those five would have been my closest friends.
Also during that period I had annual friends when we went to Mandurah for our holidays. These included Nancy (from Pinjarra) Jill (from Waroona) and Judy Smith. There were also the boys who came down with their folks every year....Rex, John and Mervyn. We used to have lots of fun fishing, swimming etc. but during the year we all went our separate ways. I actually met Mervyn when I was working in Melbourne in 1951 but that is another story.
Friends from age 12-15. I attended Perth College 1944-1945 and there my three best friends were Pam, Hilary and Betty. Unfortunately I lost touch with them when I left and attended City Commercial College in 1946 where my three best friends were Kathleen (with whom I had been friends at Mercedes), Shirley (who had been in my class at Perth College) and June Uren. We also lost touch after I began working in May of 1947.
I think one of the reason I lost touch with people was because my family moved around quite a lot and transport during those years was not good owing to petrol rationing etc during the war years, and the fact that very few people had telephones unless they used them for business. I often think of those friends and wonder where they are, if they are still living and what course their lives took. I can only hope they were all happy and content.
In part 2 I will take time to think of friends I had from age 15-20.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
I see that same sex marriage is now legal in Washinton DC and this has created quite a stir. I am wondering if they abolished marriage altogether if this would solve the problem.
Now, that really would create a great hoo-ha. People make a lot of money out of marrying people and the same applies re divorces of which there are many these days.
I do wish people would live and let live. We all have our own beliefs to which we are entitled and they really shouldn't impinge on the lives of others no matter how weird their customs and beliefs seem to us.
Whether we like it or not we must step into the 21st century with open minds. If only people would stop hating each other and get into the habit of helping instead the world would be a much better place.
You believe what you want to believe and I will do the same and everyone must agree to disagree on many things and then there would be more happiness and hopefully understanding as well.
Now, that really would create a great hoo-ha. People make a lot of money out of marrying people and the same applies re divorces of which there are many these days.
I do wish people would live and let live. We all have our own beliefs to which we are entitled and they really shouldn't impinge on the lives of others no matter how weird their customs and beliefs seem to us.
Whether we like it or not we must step into the 21st century with open minds. If only people would stop hating each other and get into the habit of helping instead the world would be a much better place.
You believe what you want to believe and I will do the same and everyone must agree to disagree on many things and then there would be more happiness and hopefully understanding as well.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
DO I PERHAPS NEED A HOLIDAY?
A lady at our exercise group this morning said "I won't be here next week. We are going away for a week". Now this same lady had been overseas with her husband last month as one of their daughters had shouted them a holiday for a wedding anniversary, and here she was off again. This time they were going to their son's beach house near Mandurah.
I was thinking about this later today and realised it is nearly 9 years since we had a holiday anywhere, even overnight. I often tell myself I don't really want to go away as I would have come home again!! The type of holiday I would love to have is in an old fashioned guest house like the one my folks and I used to go to twice a year (Christmas and Easter) in Mandurah. Three meals a day served in the dining room, a nice bedroom and share bathrooms with other guests. Same folk year after year like an annual 'family reunion'.
Not sure there is much sense in renting a unit or house if you still have to make all your own meals, as quite often the mod cons you have at home are better than those where you are staying which can be so frustrating.
One reason we can't afford an expensive holiday is because we have kept up our private health insurance which pretty well prevents us taking a 'good' holiday. We had to do this mainly because of my arthritic problems and just as well we did as two hip ops in the past 2 years were well and truly covered and we received far more than we had paid over a number of years.
I think it would probably do my other half and me good to have break as we are probably becoming a little bogged down but just when or where is a problem. I think of the wonderful holidays we had years back when we would take our grandchildren away with us for a holiday. Those were the days when you could rent an old beach house very close to the beach and the kids would have a wonderful time even in cooler weather searching for 'things' in rock pools etc. Such happy memories and unfortunately not to be repeated. Is that type of holiday still feasible? I doubt it as everything has to be so posh these days and it all costs so much.
Perhaps a good Lotto win will come along before too long and my dream holiday can be achieved....who knows.....miracles do happen.
I was thinking about this later today and realised it is nearly 9 years since we had a holiday anywhere, even overnight. I often tell myself I don't really want to go away as I would have come home again!! The type of holiday I would love to have is in an old fashioned guest house like the one my folks and I used to go to twice a year (Christmas and Easter) in Mandurah. Three meals a day served in the dining room, a nice bedroom and share bathrooms with other guests. Same folk year after year like an annual 'family reunion'.
Not sure there is much sense in renting a unit or house if you still have to make all your own meals, as quite often the mod cons you have at home are better than those where you are staying which can be so frustrating.
One reason we can't afford an expensive holiday is because we have kept up our private health insurance which pretty well prevents us taking a 'good' holiday. We had to do this mainly because of my arthritic problems and just as well we did as two hip ops in the past 2 years were well and truly covered and we received far more than we had paid over a number of years.
I think it would probably do my other half and me good to have break as we are probably becoming a little bogged down but just when or where is a problem. I think of the wonderful holidays we had years back when we would take our grandchildren away with us for a holiday. Those were the days when you could rent an old beach house very close to the beach and the kids would have a wonderful time even in cooler weather searching for 'things' in rock pools etc. Such happy memories and unfortunately not to be repeated. Is that type of holiday still feasible? I doubt it as everything has to be so posh these days and it all costs so much.
Perhaps a good Lotto win will come along before too long and my dream holiday can be achieved....who knows.....miracles do happen.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
INTERACTION BETWEEN SMALL CHILDREN
This may seem a strange thing for me to be blogging about but we have a just-turned- two great-granddaughter and her mum, on her blog, was writing about children sharing and also misbehaving when visiting and how to handle it.
One thing that many parents do came to mind that I have always found very disturbing. You have two small children together and one is obviously being nasty to the other or causing both of them to act stupidly. Why is it that the parent of the 'innocent' child often chastises that child 'cos they feel it is not their place to chastise a child that is not theirs?
Surely one is entitled to speak to the 'other' child and try and explain what they are doing is not a good thing and try and diffuse the situaton. Either separate them for a while until they calm down or introduce some other type of peaceful play for them. Take time off from what you are currently doing and play with them perhaps.
I saw one instance a few years ago where my nephew's little girl was being provoked by her cousin to the extent that they were both acting stupidly. He grabbed his little girl, smacked her and yelled at her to stop it. The instigator of the problem got away scott free and unfortunately her mother (my niece) said nothing at all. I felt so sorry for the one who got into so much trouble but then her dad is somewhat of a bully so guess it was to be expected. His son, now a young teenager, is developing the same attitude so not much hope when he eventually has children of his own. The child causing the problem has quite a high IQ and is over active so excuses are made for the way she behaves which to my mind is wrong but that is for her folks to decide and not me.
Adults must set an example by taking the blame if they are in the wrong so that children also learn that if they make a mistake or do something stupid they too must accept the blame for their actions.
To chastise the innocent child is only teaching the aggressive child that they can get away with almost anything in this life and the innocent child also suffers and begins to feel that no matter what they do they will always be in the wrong.
As with adults, some children are definitely more likeable than others which is unfortunate but very true, so perhaps the pretty, seemingly innocent, children get away with more than their opposites. It happens in the adult world all the time and therefore would I think often be the same with children.
My two children did not always get on all that well and being a mum is not an easy occupation, at much as one loves their children.
I have always tried to live by the concept that one should treat others the way I wish to be treated (do unto others) and that is one way of explaining to a child what they should do. "Would you like her/him to do that to you? "No? Then perhaps it is not nice to do it to her/him".
I guess these days child behavious is handled differently so these words from a great-grandmother may be meaningless but I needed to show how I feel about it.
One thing that many parents do came to mind that I have always found very disturbing. You have two small children together and one is obviously being nasty to the other or causing both of them to act stupidly. Why is it that the parent of the 'innocent' child often chastises that child 'cos they feel it is not their place to chastise a child that is not theirs?
Surely one is entitled to speak to the 'other' child and try and explain what they are doing is not a good thing and try and diffuse the situaton. Either separate them for a while until they calm down or introduce some other type of peaceful play for them. Take time off from what you are currently doing and play with them perhaps.
I saw one instance a few years ago where my nephew's little girl was being provoked by her cousin to the extent that they were both acting stupidly. He grabbed his little girl, smacked her and yelled at her to stop it. The instigator of the problem got away scott free and unfortunately her mother (my niece) said nothing at all. I felt so sorry for the one who got into so much trouble but then her dad is somewhat of a bully so guess it was to be expected. His son, now a young teenager, is developing the same attitude so not much hope when he eventually has children of his own. The child causing the problem has quite a high IQ and is over active so excuses are made for the way she behaves which to my mind is wrong but that is for her folks to decide and not me.
Adults must set an example by taking the blame if they are in the wrong so that children also learn that if they make a mistake or do something stupid they too must accept the blame for their actions.
To chastise the innocent child is only teaching the aggressive child that they can get away with almost anything in this life and the innocent child also suffers and begins to feel that no matter what they do they will always be in the wrong.
As with adults, some children are definitely more likeable than others which is unfortunate but very true, so perhaps the pretty, seemingly innocent, children get away with more than their opposites. It happens in the adult world all the time and therefore would I think often be the same with children.
My two children did not always get on all that well and being a mum is not an easy occupation, at much as one loves their children.
I have always tried to live by the concept that one should treat others the way I wish to be treated (do unto others) and that is one way of explaining to a child what they should do. "Would you like her/him to do that to you? "No? Then perhaps it is not nice to do it to her/him".
I guess these days child behavious is handled differently so these words from a great-grandmother may be meaningless but I needed to show how I feel about it.
Monday, March 1, 2010
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY CITY?
I sometimes have to pinch myself that I am still living in my beloved Perth....murders, stabbings, road rage, robberies...and so it goes on.
Is this just a sign of the times? What is happening? I know things are not as free and easy as they were when I was younger when one didn't lock doors or cars; you didn't need security screen on doors and windows nor alarms in cars.
How much more of this type of behaviour are we going to see? I fear for the future of my grandchildren and their children to be living here. Not sure if it safe to go out at night any more or even hold a party unless gate crashers come along and not only disrupt proceedings but actually cause damage and injury to innocent people.
We used to sleep on our front verandahs confident that we would be safe till morning or go for a walk through the neighbourhood at night and when the weather was very hot, as it is now, many people from the inner suburbs would take a rug and sleep on our beaches. Would they do that now I wonder.
I know I don't have all that many years left to me and I can't say I am sorry as I really don't want to see things worsen over the next ten or so years.
Is this just a sign of the times? What is happening? I know things are not as free and easy as they were when I was younger when one didn't lock doors or cars; you didn't need security screen on doors and windows nor alarms in cars.
How much more of this type of behaviour are we going to see? I fear for the future of my grandchildren and their children to be living here. Not sure if it safe to go out at night any more or even hold a party unless gate crashers come along and not only disrupt proceedings but actually cause damage and injury to innocent people.
We used to sleep on our front verandahs confident that we would be safe till morning or go for a walk through the neighbourhood at night and when the weather was very hot, as it is now, many people from the inner suburbs would take a rug and sleep on our beaches. Would they do that now I wonder.
I know I don't have all that many years left to me and I can't say I am sorry as I really don't want to see things worsen over the next ten or so years.